Children Misbehavior

Children who are misbehaving many times feel discouraged. Children want to feel like they belong and are a part of the family.

All children need attention. Some children misbeave to gain attention from parents.

Some children feel they can belong by using power. The child is saying.."I am in control", "I am the boss".

Children may use revenge to express themselves when they feel they can not win a power struggle with their parents.

A child may dispaly any inability to accomplish a goal..like cleaning his/her room. Belonging to this child is their hope if my parents leave me alone then I belong/ fit in.

Understanding what is underlying this behavior is essential for positive parenting. A collaborative effort is needed to solve challenging behaviors.

Understanding Children

As parents we have a common connection. Parents want to raise children who are happy, healthy, cooperative and responsible.

Parents hope to form long term family relationships. Parents want to help children grow into responsible adults.

Parents can learn simple parenting skills to help raise a child who is loved and able to give love. Children will grow into healthy responsible adults.

David R Abrams has a specialty with children, teens, and families. He has over 600 blogs of helpful information for families and adults. His web site can be found at www.lifeworksaz.com and he works in Phoenix Az counseling children, teens, families, and adults.

Children and Cough and Cold Remedies

Seven thousand (7,000) children were sent to emergency rooms each year according to the US government. These cases were for children who took cough and cold medicines.

One of the main messages is safety for children. All of these substances need parental supervision...

www.lifeworksaz.com counseling children, adolescents, teens, families, and adults in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Mesa, Tempe.

John Travolta and Heath Ledger

I found it interesting that John Travolta has been quoted in the press this week stating "I am pretty devastated over this...it's killing me." ( In reference to Heath Ledgers death)

The most interesting quote mentioned in the women's day article was " I would give back all my awards and all my nominations just to have him back".

People have been disturbed by this quote. Is he saying that a great actor's life is only worth some insignificant metal trophys? Is he saying he would trade his nominations for a human's life?Heath's life? Wow...?

Heath Ledger has a spirit and a soul which can not be measured by: money, awards, cars, bling, or superficial judgments.

Book

Also reading a very good book on addictions......easy reading very powerful.....simple like joel osteen but transferable and applicable.....

Children's Anger Defiance and Tantrums

Underneath your child's behavior is an unidentified need. I have observed this with children and teens throughout Phoenix, Scottsdale, Mesa, Tempe, Buckeye, and Valley wide.

Your child or teens behavior is a call for love.

If as a parent your goal is to change your child or to display anger you may be taking the wrong approach.

A parent is better off looking at their child's misbehavior as " a child in pain or internal conflict". This does not mean condoning the child's behavior; consequences may be in order, however, responding with an attitude of: love, caring, and a desire to underdstand is an effective approach based on love not control.

Children and Teenagers and Healthy self esteem.

Many families teach their children that their self value and worth is equivalent to performance.

In families where performance was seen as extremely important, children learned that anything short of excellence or perfection meant they failed. Children learn that even reaching a high goal gave them only a drop of satisfaction. Children and teens learn that no matter what they do it was never quite enough or "good enough"

The child or teens begins to feel inadequate and may develop the attitude that no matter what I do, it is not good enough, so why bother...If I do not make an effort, I will never have to fail.

Children, Adolescents, and parents would benefit from understanding that love received and self esteem are not based on what we do!

www.lifeworksaz.com provides: parenting, family counseling, counseling children, counseling teenagers, counseling adults in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe Az.

Britney..Britney...Britney equals Arizona and USA priorities upsidedown!

It appears our society has our priorities upside down. Millions are more interested in what Britney wore to the gas station then our children or ourselves.

Children are starving to death. Children and Teenagers in Phoenix,Az; Scottsdale Az, Tempe Az, Glendale, Buckeye, and Mesa are shooting people and using crystal meth.

A marine allegedly killed his girlfriend whille married; and killed the fetus..He allegedly then set them on fire and buried them in the backyard.

We have war in: Iraq. A teen attempted to hijack a plane and crash it into a concert yesterday.

Many choose to close our eyes to our societies dysfunction and hope by some magic that are society can heal itself. It will not...it will continue to ooze out into tragedies if we do not wake up! We must spend time loving ourselves and our children and stop worshiping: TV, VIDEO GAMES, and our ego's. The family is the heart and soul of life....

Great socities have crumbled that have our mentality and I want more for the USA!!! Focus on listening to your wife and children and their emotional needs before you regret it.

Marketing Illness

"The strategy of marketing the illness before selling the drug has become a trend in the post-prozac era, says Dr. Leon Mosher, former chief of the Center fos Studies of Schizophrenia at NIMH."

Few people had heard of social anxiety disorder before the spring of 2001.

According to a survey in 1989, fewer than 1.2 percent of the population had been diagnosed with it. But by spring of 2001, the media were filled with news items urging people to watch for symptoms of irritability, fatigue, sweating, and muscle tension. Subsequent medical reports described generalized anxiety disordernor GAD, as leaving victims paralyzed with irrational fears.

The timing of the media frenzy was no accident. On April 16, 2001 the FDA approved the antidepressant Paxil for treatment of GAD."

This article is a quote from focusas.com.

Sleep problems

Many adults, teens, and children have sleep challenges.

Disturbed sleep can be created by worry in relation to work or school.
Sleep challenges are impacted by going to bed at the same time during the weekday, however, changing ones sleep habits during the weekend according to sleep experts.

www.lifeworksaz.com provides counseling for children,teens, and adults in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Tempe, and the greater valley.

Energy produced in your body

Blood flow produces .93 watts of mechanical energy and .16 W electrical energy available. .16 joules of electrical energy per movement.

Exhalation produces 1.02 J energy per movement.

Inhalation produces .84 J electrical energy per movement.

Upper limbs produce 2.25 J electrical energy per movement.

Walking produces 18.90 J electrical energy per movement.

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Stay Healthy

Here are tips that are important to stay healthy:

Relieve chronic stress.

Stay active...exercise three times a week and get your pulse above 100 beats per minute for maximum benefits.

Healthy diets: five servings of fruits and vegetables per day.

Quit smoking ASAP

www.lifeworksaz.com

Hyper Child

In a recent study published by lancet they state that children who drank drinks with common food coloring agents and the preservative sodium benzoate were more hyperactive than the children who drank identical beverages minus the additives.

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Parenting Children for school success

In a great article by Carol S Dweck called The secret to Raising Smart Kids I wanted to share reserch on the effects of praise.

"Children praised for their intelligence solved significantly fewer problems after a failure than they had before encountering difficulty.
In contrast, children praised for their effort solved more problems after their brush with adversity then they had before it."

www.lifeworksaz.com counseling children and teens in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe Arizona.

Learning for Children is about attitude.

Children that can master educational assignments believe that their intelligence is malleable. Our brains can be molded like clay when we put forth any effort to do so. Children must believe that intelligence is any ongoing process and not fixed.

Children must believe that intelligence can be achieved through hard work.
Challenges in learning develop and are rooted in the child's thought that he/she can not learn or figure out the problem. Many challenges arise due to a lack of effort. Children must believe challenges are any opportunity to grow and learn.

Raising Smart-Intelligent Children

I read a great article in the Jan issue of Scientific American Mind called The secret to raising smart kids by Carol S Dweck.

"Here are the highlights:

Many people assume that superior intelligence or ability is a key to success. But more than three decades of research shows that any overemphasis on intellect or talent- and the implications that such traits are innate and fixed-leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unmotivated to learn.

Teaching people to have a "growth mind-set", which encourages a focus on effort rather than on intelligence or talent, produces high achievers in school and in life.

Parents and teachers can engender a growth mind-set in children by praising them for their effort or persistance ( rather than for their intelligence), by telling success stories that emphasize hard work and love of learning, and by teaching them about the brain as a learning machine.

www.lifeworksaz.com

Psychopaths in Phoenix Arizona and USA

Most psychopaths are male and it is speculated that a sizeable number are walking among us in everday life

Studies indicate about 25 percent of inmates meet diagnostic criteria for psychopathy.

The best established measure of psychopathy is, the psychopathy check list Revised PCL-R, developed by Robert d' Hare. It requires a standardized interview with subjects and any examination of their file records, such as criminal and educational histories.

The PCL-R comprimises at least three overlapping, but seperable, constellations of traits: interpersonal deficits, affective deficits, and impulsive and criminal behaviors.

Anxiety impact on Heart

Anxiety can be treated by cognitive behavioral therapy as well as many other counseling and psychotherapeutic techniques.

Recent research found a 40 percent greater risk of heart attacks in men who scored high on anxiety scales.

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Anxiety my Child

Anxiety Disorders are the common of all mental disorders. Anxiety Disorders impact 10 out every 100 children and teenagers.

Children and teens who are diagnosed with anxiety disorders experience excessive fear, worry, that interferes with daily life.

There are several Anxiety Disorders:

Phobias- specific and social.

Panic Disorders- intense fear with physical symptoms that repeats.

PTSD- post traumatic stress disorder- a pattern of intense emotions that come from specific trauma related events. This includes verabal abuse, physical abuse, violence, neglect, trauma, deprivation and much more..

Generalized Anxiety Disorder-worrisome thoughts and tension everyday for at least 6 mos...

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- Repeated unwanted thoughts or compulsive behaviors that appear impossible to stop.

Psychotherapy and counseling for children has been extremely effective for the above disorders.

Conduct Disorder Children and Teens

Conduct Disorder is a complex group of emotional and behavioral problems. In children and adolescents.

Children and teens may exhibit aggression to people and animals, destruction of property, deceitfulness, stealing and more..

A child could destroy property by firesetting or intentionally destroying property.

A child or teen can violate rules: truancy, suspensions at school, running away from home.

Children with conduct disorder experience: higher rates of depression, academic problems, poor relationships with friends and adults, and problems with the law.

Children with these behaviors may also have cosxisting conditions like drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, PTSD, learning challenges and more.

Chemicals in Lipstick

Chemicals in lipsticks called xeno-estrogens mimic the effect of estrogen and are fat-soluable making them easy to store in the body.

Gynecologist Peter Bowen-Simpkins of London Women's Clinic said theoretically hormones could be involved in this change in female shape.

The UK and other nations have seen both waistlines and breasts swell in recent years.

It is important to monitor what we put in and on our bodies. Chemicals can be absorbed through the skin.

www.lifeworksaz.com

Conflict between brother and sister.

Parents can emphazie cooperation. Parents can make sure they do not compare one child to another child in the family.

It is important that parents do not play favorites.

It is impoprtant that each child has his own space and time to him/her self.

It is important that their is 1 on 1 time set aside for each child. The value of ten minutes of 1:1 time is extremely valuable and can help create a healthier environment between child and parent as well as with siblings.

Listen to your child. When alone ask them what they like about siblings and what they wish was different about siblings.

Teach your childred how to resolve conflict in healthy ways. Let them know you believe in them and give them tools to: compromise, share, or walk away if it is any unhealthy situation.

Model good conflict resolution in your home.

www.lifeworksaz.com provides counseling for children, adolescents, as well as adults and families.

Sibling Fights

There are many variables that contribute to fights between siblings.

Here are some items that might contribute to fights:

Stress in Parent's life.

Stress in Child's life.

Children who are hungry, angry, bored, irritated, tired, and or Sad.

Children may feel their relationship is threatened by the arrival of a new baby.

Children may feel they are not getting equal attention, and responsiveness.

Children need to find their own uniqueness so they are not being compared to siblings. They can find their own talents.

www.lifeworksaz.com counseling and psychotherapy services for children, teens, adults, and families in Phoenix Arizona.

Model Good Behavior and Children will Follow

Here are some tips on creating good behavior for your child/children:

Reinforce good behavior. Make any effort to communicate behaviors that are "good" for example "I am glad you were able to share your guitar hero with your sister". "I am glad you shared your WII and x box with your friends".

It is important to give your child opportunities for physical exercise.

Teaching your child to express his thoughts and feelings verbally is vital.

Encouraging your children to see their intrinsic qualities and see themselves as valuable children.

www.lifeworksaz.com

Angry Children Angry Mom and Angry Dad

Many parents were never taught how to deal with their anger and this is carried into parenting your chilld.

Parents have been taught to hide and stuff anger because anger is not ok. It is important to accept your feelings of anger as well as accept and allow your child to express his anger and learn to express anger in a healthy way. Anger is a natural emotion and we should not act as if we can not display anger in appropriate ways.

Underneath your child's anger are thoughts and feelings that may be related to: low self-esteem, isolation, jealousy, frustration, and anxiety.
Anger may be associated with sadness and depression.

The desire to punish is not the solution. Explaining to your child how she/he can cope with their feelings and listening is essential to helping your child/ children. Punishment is not the most effective way to communicate what we want from our children.

Counseling and psychotherapy for children, teens, adults, and families can be a very important way to help a child with anger and aggression. www.lifeworksaz.com provides counseling in Phoenix, Tempe, and Scottsdale Arizona.

Grieving and grief Naturally

I read an interesting article called working through grief in Counseling
Today Jan 2008 edition.

Barbara Harris Whitfield who has worked in the field of death and dying has some interesting quotes regarding grief.

"If we can let go of always needing to control and let things come up naturally on their own, half the battle will be over."

"Our society has convinced us that we are depressed and that drugs will relieve our pain. Prescription drugs only put our grief work on hold, where it will remain until we stop the drugs and let go into feeling the pain. It takes courage to face our loss."

Whitfield says she frequently sess clients who needed assistance with their grief, but instead of counseling and guidance, they had received a prescription. " A lot of physicians don't know how to respect the grieving process," she says. "We have to wean ( our clients) off these medications that are stopping the grieving process and help them learn how to grieve naturally."

www.lifeworksaz.com.

Music and Depression

I was sitting at Starbucks in Phoenix Az today reading the NY Times and Az Republic on my day off.

I came across a quote from Oliver Sacks a Neurologist and Author on my Starbucks cup.

"Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears- it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more- it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a necessity."

More interesting info can be found at www.lifeworksaz.com.

Fearful thoughts v Abundant thoughts

Have you ever wondered why you are comfortable around certain people and feel discomfort around others?

People are usually coming from two different philosophies.

One philosophy starts with a foundation of fear. This fear is mixed with judgment of others and inadequacy. This person can not enjoy the present moment and is always thinking about the past or the future. This person lives his/her life based on scarcity.

The other Philosophy has a foundation that is based on love. This type of person can enjoy the here and now and is present. This philosophy is based on acceptance. This individual believes that everything in life is abundant and available.

These two philosophical thought processes impact our thoughts, choices, behaviors, and mood. Which one do you want to incorporate in your life?

www.lifeworksaz.com, counseling and psychotherapy services for children, teens, and adults in Phoenix, Tempe, Scottsdale, Glendale, and Mesa.

Parents involvement with children and teens is essential to healthy relationships between child and parent.

Setting boundaries and knowing what your child does and does not do is very important for a healhy child.

It is important to know how your child performs at school behaviorally and academically. It is important to know who your child spends time with during the week and on weekends. It is important to know what type of family your child or teen's friends come from and what type of parenting they believe in.

It is important to monitor and limit your childs: phone use, internet usage, TV watching, Video Games.

It is important that you spend quality one on one time with your child. It is important that you eat meals with your child.

It is important that you teach your child about: responsibility, honesty, integrity, accountability, boundaries, responsibility. It is important that your child is supervised by healthy adults if you are unavailable.

It is important that you teach your child the dangers of alcohol and drugs.

These are just a few tips to develop a healthy relationship with your child.

www.lifeworksaz.com, Phoenix Arizona, Scottsdale Az, Tempe Az.

Parenting Children and Teens

Parents can benefit from taking time each day to alleviate stress. This can be doing yoga, a walk, or listening to relaxing music.

It is important to understand your child will say things that may be inappropriate and hurtful. It is essential that parents understand they are the mature adults that must set a healthy example.

It is important to not take your teens comments as an afront or an attack. It is important to empathize with your child and teen and at the same time express your thoughts and concerns in a calm and peaceful manner.

Remember children and teens will potentially model your behavior in the future.

Cold Medicine Risky for Children FDA states

Parents should not give babies and toddlers over the counter medicines. The FDA states they are too risky.

The FDA is releasing a public health advisory to warn parents to avoid these drugs for children under 2 "because serious and potentially LIFE
THREATENING side effects can occur."

www.lifeworksaz, counseling and psychotherapy for children, teenagers, and adults in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe.

Antidepressants

Researchers find a bias toward upbeat findings on Antidepressants is an article found in NY Times, Jan 17, 2008 by Benedict Carey.

The article states " the makers of Prozac and Paxil never published the results of about a third of the drug trials that they conducted to win government approval, misleading doctors and consumers about the drugs' true effectiveness, a new analysis has found."

www.lifeworksaz.com, counseling and psychotherapy for children, teens, adults in Phoenix Arizona.

Educate yourself on Breast Implants

Do not rely on the government or your girlfriends to give you reliable information on brest implants.

There is no established medical consensus on how long implants will last. Women may need additional surgeries which can be an ordeal as well as another financial burden.

Health insurance is unlikely to cover MRI's to examine any problems you may have and this is very expensive.

One woman had: scar tissue, rippling, lumps around one nipple and pain. She states the negatives outweigh the positives. She spent 6,000 to have her breast implants removed.

Dr Li who served on the FDA panel that review breast implant safety states the manufacture states the implant should last a decade, however, he states we do not know how long they will last.

In some clinical studies 33 percent of first time implants had to have surgery a second time around with in the first 5 years.

Many medical professionals have argued the dangers of silicon implants. Implants that may leak can cause autoimmune disease, lupus, and many other diseases. Silicon has a dangerous history with breast implants.

Children Antidepressants

"Haz mat sealed off a glendale Arizona home.

Apparently three children got into some antidepressant pills and got sick.

The children were having difficulty breathing and had a rash. Officials stated the children are expected to be fine."

This article was on foxnews.com to read it in more detail Jan 16-2008.

Aggression

Research from Vanderbilt University found that the brain processes agression as a reward.

The study was published in the Journal of Psychopharmacology.

The research from these experiments concluded that an individual will seek out an aggressive encounter because they gain a rewarding feeling from the agression. The research shows that dopamine is impacted and plays an important role as a positive reinforcer.

www.lifeworksaz.com, counseling children, teenagers, adults, in Phoenix, Tempe, and Scottsdale Arizona.

Psychotherapy for children, adolescents, adults

The article below is from any article. In Psychology Today 2-08 called Pills, with a side of therapy.

" In Bipolar disorder, depressive episodes are more disabling and last longer than manic ones, so antidepressants are often prescribed alongside mood stabilizers. Yet any NIMH study recently emphasized that the addition of antidepressants can do more harm than good by causing rapid swings back toward mania. So adding therapy to the mix might help: Another study shows that undergoing psychotherapy while taking mood stabilizers better promotes recovery in relationship and life skills. David Miklowitz, a researcher on both of the large scale investigations, says intensive psychotherapy works best when it concentrates on the triggers that set off depressive episodes. The catch is that stable improvements usually require many sessions over the course of several months."

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Anxiety

I read any article in Psychology Today 1-08. The article states that researchers have shown benefits from eating honey.

New experiments have shown rats given honey in their diets have improved their memory and have
less anxiety.

Researchers attribute the reduction in anxiety to the antioxidants present in the honey.

www.lifeworksaz.com, counseling childred, teens, adolescents, and adults in phoenix Arizona.