Counseling healthy relationships Phoenix Scottsdale

Building a solid foundation of mutual respect for each other is vital in creating a healthy relationship .

Focusing on the small things your partner does as well as the big things is vital in creating a healthy long term connection for a strong relationship .

Displaying appreciation to your partner is important . Letting your partner know they are appreciated for all they do . An example would be I really appreciate it when you: bring me my coffee , make dinner , do the laundry , call me during the day and show you are thinking of me .

Exploring activities that you both enjoy is important . Finding events or outings that both of you are interested in exploring is very important . Mutual interests allow you both to develop a strong connection and enjoy activities together .

If you hurt your partners feelings it is important to recognize you may have said something that was upsetting or your behavior was upsetting to your partner . Being able to recognize that you made an error and making an effort to say you are sorry and are willing to work on changing your ” hurtful” behavior is important to establish a sense of compassion and love in your relationship . This is important in establishing a trusting bond .

Resolving conflict is important in healthy relationships . It may be hard to constructively address painful issues however it will strengthen your relationship when it is done with love and respect . Resolving disagreements requires a desire to look at your partners perspective . You may not agree or understand their perspective however but being open to putting yourself on your partners shoes is crucial to create desired change .

There are times when one individual in the relationship brings their own unhealthy behaviors into the relationship . These behaviors or values were created years before your current relationship and can indicate the need for them to work one one with a therapist or counselor so they can create healthy behaviors for life in general .

Accepting your partners differences is helpful in developing emotional support however working on healthy behaviors is also important .

Expressing what you want and need is important . Being able to clearly describe your desires is important an example would be ” I would like us to go on a one on one date twice a month ” versus I would like to spend more time with you .

Talking about one item of importance at a time is important because a list of items can disrupt focusing on each item of importance .

It is ok to not agree on everything . If you both continue to disagree it is ok to say I see it this way and I understand you see it another way . We can agree to have different perspectives.

Listening to each other is vital . Take time to focus on what your partner is conveying and truly hear them out in totality without interrupting . You can wait till they are done and reflect back what they are saying to gain clarity . An example would be it sounds like you are saying …. . Is this true ? If not ask for more specifics so you can gain a clear and accurate understanding of what your partner is conveying .

Having mutual respect for each persons right to have his or her feelings , friends , thoughts , perceptions is very important to create trust and love and healthy communication .

Learn about your partners family patterns and how they communicate love and how they learned to handle conflict .

Discuss with your loved one your perception of spending time together and what it means to spend time alone.
Share your feelings on what you need in terms of time together . Work on creating a solution that works for both of you . It is not about winning it is about compromise and nurturing and strengthening your relationship .

Communicating your needs is important and also knowing that your lover can not meet all your needs . Some of your needs will have to be created or developed elsewhere . Make an effort to empathize with your partner and see things from their point of view . Respect each others different view points even if your perception is not exactly their idea.
Take time to convey love and trust and your desire to work things out .

David Abrams MAPC , LPC has an advanced graduate specialty in marriage and relationship counseling as well as family counseling . David has treated clients through therapy and counseling in : phoenix , Ahwatukee , anthem , Scottsdale , Tempe , surprise, chandler and valley wide .

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.