UCSB Shooting Depression, anger, low self esteem, envy

I read the 141 page manifesto of the UCSB Shooter. Here is some information that shaped his life: His parents divorced at a young age and this was very difficult for him. The victimizer had to bounce from mom’s home to dad’s home and his parent’s moved quite often. He had a few Nanny’s that took care of him and attended private schools as well as public school. He states in his manifesto that he felt devastated when his parents divorced. He further states he was a happy child and was blissful in his early life. He does not state he had a negative relationships with either parent however did state his Dad was traveling often and was not around often. He moved to different schools and this was a challenging adjustment for him. He states he wanted to fit in however he felt rejected, lonely, and bullied. His self esteem was shaped by his thoughts that he was not cool enough and did not fit in. The victimizer tried to fit in however he states he failed to be accepted and states many times that he felt rejected and worthless.

The victimizer states he could not get a girlfriend and that he could not be accepted socially with the popular children or teens. He tried skateboarding and felt deficient in skateboarding. He believed he was short and not athletic and that because of this girls did not see his value. Elliot states his anger and rage, jealousy and envy toward society increased when he would see attractive girls with boyfriends and when he would hear that his peers were having sex and he was not. Jealousy and envy toward those who were attractive and were in relationships was a theme as well as those who were having sex. He states that many peers were having sex and enjoying lives pleasures and he was excluded from these pleasures because females did not gravitate towards him. Elliot felt powerless and inferior. He states he was different being half asian and half white. He states he was teased and bullied. He also states he sought negative attention by acting out at school because he craved attention.

Elliot played video games like: Halo, Diablo, and world of warcraft. He states that these games filled his void. He was lonely, angry and depressed. He mention’s how the games were very addictive and he immersed himself in these games as a diversion and an escape. He was depressed and struggled with social interactions that he desired.

The victimizer felt like a victim this was his perception and felt powerless. He felt he needed to have retribution and would take it out on sorority girls and others. He premeditated his murderous spree and discusses victimizing and killing in detail in his manifesto as well as killing himself.

In conclusion he was in a great deal of pain. His family was well to do however his negative perceptions of self, low self esteem, feelings of loneliness, rejection, envy, embarrassment  and jealousy would fuel his anger and rage that spilled out on innocent people. This is very sad and tragic.

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.