Counseling child and Family Phoenix Arizona, Scottsdale Arizona

Oppositional defiant children possess a strong need to control and to gain power. Most defiant teenagers and children deny responsibility for their misbehaviors and do not see how their behavior impacted the family or other individuals.

The oppositional and defiant child blossom in negativity and family conflicts. These children appear to thrive on anger and aggression and want to win at all costs in arguments. Oppositional defiance is more common in homes with too much structure and also in homes where there is very little structure. Finding a balance in parenting is vital for success with the defiant and oppositional child or teen. Parenting by both parents that is on the same page is important in balancing out the oppositional defiant child and adolescent. A firm and loving environment is important. Parent’s must use their authority as parents and not give into your child’s demands out of fear or to keep your child in your good graces. Your child is not your friend they must be treated as children.

The oppositional child will push your buttons and emotions and in his or her mind once this has happened he or she feels they have now taken over your position of authority.

A few solutions to address your defiant child: walk away from conflict, change the subject of the argument, avoid defending yourself allow your actions to be consistent with your rules and words. If the above does not work let your child know that regardless and nevertheless ; this is how it is going to be in a calm unemotional manner. This will de escalate things and not draw you in to a power struggle.

All rules and consequences must be in writing before conflict arises and must be very clear. You can begin by removing items like: cell phone, smart phone, tv, music, games, skateboard etc. Creating a Behavior modification plan that will work is very important for parents to address these behaviors.

Below is an article on my approach that involves the child or teen as well as the parent in my practice.

Family and Child Counseling, Therapy, Specialist Phoenix Arizona

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.