Child counseling: anger, anxiety, emotions, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Glendale Arizona

Your child is struggling with emotional mood regulation,he or she is pleasant and then explodes, has tantrums, rages, throws things. This can be extremely challenging , however, the great news is it is a habit that can be managed and eradicated. I work with these issues on a regular basis. I have worked with children and teen with emotional and behavioral issues as well as disabilities for over fifteen years and their families .A team approach is best. There is power in numbers and parents are the eyes and ears and role models for most children.

My approach is a positive, encouraging, empathic, supportive, non judgmental non labeling approach. I find giving a child a diagnosis of: ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder is not helpful to a child. The child begins to think he is defective or unable to learn tools to cope with people and academics and peers and this is not what parents want and is not in the best interest of a child or adolescent teen.

I work with the child and or teen as well as work with parents to create the best approach to their unique child’s challenges. Working with parents and the child is a team approach and is always better than just working with the child or teen alone for best results and this approach is supported by research.

Children and teens can learn skills to cope with anger, anxiety, depression, peers, social situations, low self esteem, overcoming obstacles, creating academic success, creating better relationships with Moms and Dads and siblings as well.

If a child is still very aggressive by age 6, he is at risk for being violent in adolescence and adulthood.

Anger is a defense against deeper feelings of fear, hurt, disappointment, and pain.  When those feelings are too devastating, we automatically move into anger to keep ourselves from feeling so much pain.Kids today are immersed in a media culture that tolerates escalating levels of aggression.

For every hour of media a 4-year-olds watched daily, their risk of becoming bullies at ages 6 to 11 increased by ten percent.

Nearly six five percent of U.S. adolescents have experienced an “anger attack” that involved threatening violence, destroying property or engaging in violence toward others, according to new research.

In the past, such anger attacks may have been referred to by parents as having a temper tantrum or anger outburst.

Girls ages 6 to 11 who often watched shows with aggression were found to be more likely to develop into angry adults than girls who watched none or few of these programs.

A child must be able to feel another child’s pain( empathy and compassion for others) in order to want to stop hitting when he’s angry. Teaching a child empathy is essential in aggression and anger in children and teens.Studies suggest that kids are more likely to develop a strong sense of empathy when their own emotional needs are being met at home.

Habitually angry children have not learned to put themselves in others’ shoes and see things from other people’s perspective. They have not learned the skill of consequential thinking. They do not know how to break into their rigid thinking and cannot stop making judgments about others. They have strong “shoulds” for others and get upset when others do not follow their wishes. They blame others for their problems and do not take responsibility for their own actions. They cannot allow themselves to see that they are at fault for some of their issues. This is called cognitive distortions or twisted thinking.

Habitually angry teens have a “me” “me” “me” agenda. They are not thinking about others or team work. They can be very judgmental and critical toward themselves as well as others. The entitled angry child believe they have the right to get what they want and if not become angry. The child believes he has the right to have it his or her way. The child has negative self talk and internal messages.

Another type of angry child or teen is involved with a parent that is busy and self involved and is not able to give the child the time or nurturing they desire. This child grows up feeling: neglected, rejected, abandoned. The child feels misunderstood, angry, frustrated, fearful, grief, loss and betrayal.

The entitled child believes the world revolves around them and they will not delay their desire for gratification. This child needs, limits, love, and consistency.

Many children do not know what to do with their emotions be in : anger, disappointment, rejection, abandonment, sadness, fear, shame, guilt, anxiety and more.. It is learning to deal with life’s emotions and learning skills to cope and problem solve that will modify anger and rage and behavior.

There are many counseling therapies that are extremely helpful in anger management and mood regulation that are used to help your child or teen. Mood regulation is where we learn how our emotions work, and the new skills we can learn in order to regulate and balance our mood. It is learning to build positive emotional experiences.

Mindfulness, distress tolerance, are just some skills. Learning many skills including CBT skills are extremely valuable in anger management and mood skills. Visualization skills. VNBR skills, DBT skills, mindfulness skills, Problem solving skills and more can change your child and or teenagers behavior

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.