Child counseling Oppositional defiant Phoenix, Scottsdale, Tempe, Chandler Az

Many wonderful parents have children that are defiant or have emotional and behavioral problems. The first step is to stop blaming yourself. The second step is to commit to a goal to help your child through family and individual counseling with someone who works with children, teens and families daily. This is essential. Medication will not change your teens thoughts .

There most likely are a variety of components that are contributing to your child’s emotional and behavioral issues. Through an assessment from birth to present the family and child and practitioner can find the pieces that are not working and create a treatment plan to create balance, health, and success.

I see many teens and children that have poor sleep, poor diets, poor self esteem, negative unhealthy thoughts, anxiety, depression, impulsivity, poor socials skills, poor mood regulation, poor stress management skills, depression and much more. Each area must be addressed to help your child move in a positive direction.

Your child or teen may display a variety of unhealthy behaviors. There are many areas that can contribute to this behavior: mood, thoughts, self esteem, grief, loss, family issues, peers, performance, school, and much more. It is important to look at all aspects of your child’s life before you label them with a “disorder” this can cause a lot of damage for life.

All children have some behavior issues and some are more serious than others. I have worked with thousands of children that have academic issues, ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Aggression, substance abuse, Social issues, poor Self esteem, family issues, communication issues, motivation issues, divorced children, past trauma, defiant disorders, conduct disorders and much more.I have worked with children and families in: Phoenix, Scottsdale, Chandler, Glendale, Peoria, Buckeye, Goodyear, Mesa, Ahwatukee, Arcadia, Biltmore, Tempe and in most of the schools in the valley in the past. I have worked with private school kids and teens in juvenile detention. I have worked in the public schools as well.

My approach is not to stigmatize your child and hand him a disorder it is quite the opposite. I find all the strengths and positive qualities your child or teen has and use that as a foundation for rapport and connection with your child and the family. Labeling your child will only create a reason why behavior is the way it is and the reality is that you child can change his behavior as well as each parent can modify their behavior to obtain desired success and results.

I work with both the parent and the child and the research and my experience shows this will create the greatest potential for change. The parents are the eyes and ears of the child and know their child the best. Weekly feedback from each parents is vital in creating a treatment plan for change and is part of what Lifeworks Arizona Child and Family counseling uses in one component for change.

My approach is not a cookie cutter approach. Depending on your child or Teen I use a wide array of evidence based tools that work as well as sports, games, art,  play, and talk  to create change. My goal is to create balance in your child’s life. I look at his sleep patterns, diet, unhealthy habits, routine, time management, communication skills, boundaries, parenting, academics, and all of his or her behaviors that are working and this that are not working. Through this process I create a treatment plan to eliminate undesirable behaviors . At the same time I am teaching your child skills to manage : mood, stress, anger, anxiety, depression, develop social skills, build self esteem. It is the combination of all the components that creates change for your child or teenager.

Think of a car you drive where one tire is low in air pressure . Depending on how low it is it can impact the whole car and it’s alignment. Our children can be thought of in the same way: low air pressure, delay in oil change, and the car starts having many problems, it might take awhile however eventually these problems will arise in your child in the form of: disrespect, anger, aggression, poor grades, poor habits anymore.

Oppositional defiant children possess a strong need to control and to gain power. Most defiant teenagers and children deny responsibility for their misbehaviors and do not see how their behavior impacted the family or other individuals.

The oppositional and defiant child blossom in negativity and family conflicts. These children appear to thrive on anger and aggression and want to win at all costs in arguments. Oppositional defiance is more common in homes with too much structure and also in homes where there is very little structure. Finding a balance in parenting is vital for success with the defiant and oppositional child or teen. Parenting by both parents that is on the same page is important in balancing out the oppositional defiant child and adolescent. A firm and loving environment is important. Parent’s must use their authority as parents and not give into your child’s demands out of fear or to keep your child in your good graces. Your child is not your friend they must be treated as children.

The oppositional child will push your buttons and emotions and in his or her mind once this has happened he or she feels they have now taken over your position of authority.

A few solutions to address your defiant child: walk away from conflict, change the subject of the argument, avoid defending yourself allow your actions to be consistent with your rules and words. If the above does not work let your child know that regardless and nevertheless ; this is how it is going to be in a calm unemotional manner. This will de escalate things and not draw you in to a power struggle.

Finding a behavior plan that works that combines individual and family therapy is vital for your child’s success and mental health as well as the family’s stress.

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.