Parenting depression anxiety, Child Counseling Phoenix Arizona, Scottsdale Arizona

Finding balance in our lives can be extremely challenging. We are on the go go go. We have work and family and obligations we are compelled to attend. There is a famous saying ” If I am not for myself who will be for me” and another ” if not know when’? If you are exhausted and in pain it may be time for radical change in your life or just a few tips for change.

Many women do not find this balance and it is impacting their health : sleep, stress, diet, physical health, mood, anxiety, depression and more.

I was working with a client years ago that recently came to my mind. The woman was so sweet and kind and compassionate and she was thoughtful and intelligent and well educated. However, her husband was the opposite , He was selfish and inconsiderate. He was angry all the time and egocentric. He was thoughtless instead of compassionate. He lacked empathy and had very limited emotional IQ. He was controlling and verbally abusive as well as emotionally abusive. As positive and happy as the woman was and she always smiled and was  very happy he would try and rain on her parade. His not stop interrogating and inconsideration built up to the point where she was emotionally fatigued and exhausted. Exercise and good diet was not re charging her batteries.

My client was not receiving the rest she needed because her husband was up late and he would turn the lights on and make noise and set his alarm and watch tv. He would also snore and have headaches and would moan at night keeping her up for most of the night. She kindly explained to her partner that she could not sleep due to his behavior however he never changed his behavior. Guess what? She was living with a narcissist. Not just a narcissist but one with a pervasive personality disorder we came to find out. Explaining feelings or emotions to a Narcissist is like talking to a wall and expecting the wall to talk back it will never happen.

My client wanted to stay with her partner due to her love for the children believing that sticking it out would be best however her health was being compromised by the stress. Like a leech sucking someone blood.

She had to learn to create strong boundaries. She learned to take care of her emotional health. She learned skills to interact with a narcissist so she could survive. She would sleep in the other room at night when he was loud or making noises and was completely inconsiderate to her needs. The woman learned to get away and find people that filled her emotional bank up instead of spending so much time having her partner drain her emotional bank. Diet, exercise and tools to deal with the Narcissist helped her greatly.

Learning not to spoil her children was important as well. She learned to say NO when she was not feeling well and this taught her children the concept of team work and compassion. Many other children become entitled, selfish, and narcissistic when parents give them everything and do not say NO.

Finding a  balance for this woman saved her life. A balance physically, mentally and emotionally as well as finding her own spirituality be it church or affirmations or whatever she found spiritually enlighten helped her go from depression and misery back to joy and happiness and health.

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.