Archive for the 'Child counseling Scottsdale Arizona' Category

Counseling Child Social Skills Phoenix,Cave Creek, Scottsdale Arizona

Monday, August 20th, 2018

Children and adolescent teens are spending 50 plus hours a week on technology( instagram, texting, snapchat, you tube, Netflix facebook) and a majority of youth are not developing social skills . You might wonder why social skills is vital? Social skills and resiliency are two of the biggest factors determining future success for your child or teenager.

In many research studies children that have strong social skills and emotional skills were more likely than their peers to succeed academically as well as professionally . One study followed children for over twenty years .

Social abilities are more than just having friends . Social competence includes the ability to be a team player , resolve conflicts , listen to others, make suggestions without judgment or criticism .

In a large research study twenty five years ago academic teachers used an assessment tool the educational leaders were asked to assign each child a score based on qualities that included : team work, cooperates with peers without prompting., helpful to others, understands feelings; and independent problem solver.

One huge result was that the children that scored high on the above criteria were over FOUR TIMES more likely to graduate from college.

Another result showed that academic success is not enough for career or life success. Children need to learn self awareness, and social awareness, self management, and emotional strength in order to have successful futures. Social and emotional skills: mood regulation, stress management, healthy communication with peers and family are vital for healthy adults.

Children and teens with poor social skills were more likely to have : substance abuse problems, be unemployed , receive public assistance , and more .

The positive piece of the study was that children and teens can develop social skills throughout childhood with some practice and work. Your child’s success in life all around: relationships, happiness, career happiness and life joy’s are connected to strong social skills.

Developing the whole child is very important. Teaching your child or teen kills to communicate with peers and family in healthy ways, tools to make friends and keep friends, skills to manage stress in life, mood regulation skills, healthy diet, exercise, and creating overall balance in your child’s life.

Children can learn healthy social skills with some guidance with parents as well as through counseling and role modeling.

Being a team player is an essential social skill for family, friendship as well as at school and at work. It is vital that a child contribute: do chores, do things he or she does not want to do to build healthy social skills.

Listening to others opinions and not thinking one knows it all is helpful with social skills.

Being grateful and thankful to your family and friends and others who do things for you. Helping you, making you dinner, providing support, doing things you enjoy etc.

Being genuine and truly interested in others lives is vital for true friendship. Children and teens should get curious about what activities parents participate in daily and ask about there day. Children and teens should ask friends about activities they enjoy at school at home in clubs etc. Listening is key and asking more questions will allow you to develop a strong relationships and build your social skills.

Lifeworksaz.com has been working with children, teens and families for over fifteen years on social skills, self esteem, mood, stress management and healthy life skills and more.

Child Counseling Therapy Social Skills in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Arizona

Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

 

HAVING a QUALITY best friend in childhood is linked to mental health in children, teens, and adults. Studies show that having a great friend reduces depression, anxiety, and increases self esteem.

Studies state that it is not the amount of popularity or friends you talk to online or at school it is the quality of the friendship. Can you rely on this person in a time of need?Are they a true advocate for you? Do they show respect for you and do you respect them? Do they make healthy life choices? Quality not quantity is the standard for good mental health for children and teenagers.

 

Children and adolescent teens are spending 50 plus hours a week on technology( instagram, texting, snap-chat, you tube, Netflix Facebook) and a majority of youth are not developing social skills . You might wonder why social skills is vital? Social skills and resiliency are two of the biggest factors determining future success for your child or teenager.

In many research studies children that have strong social skills and emotional skills were more likely than their peers to succeed academically as well as professionally . One study followed children for over twenty years .

Social abilities are more than just having friends . Social competence includes the ability to be a team player , resolve conflicts , listen to others, make suggestions without judgment or criticism .

In a large research study twenty five years ago academic teachers used an assessment tool the educational leaders were asked to assign each child a score based on qualities that included : team work, cooperates with peers without prompting., helpful to others, understands feelings; and independent problem solver.

One huge result was that the children that scored high on the above criteria were over FOUR TIMES more likely to graduate from college.

Another result showed that academic success is not enough for career or life success. Children need to learn self awareness, and social awareness, self management, and emotional strength in order to have successful futures. Social and emotional skills: mood regulation, stress management, healthy communication with peers and family are vital for healthy adults.

Children and teens with poor social skills were more likely to have : substance abuse problems, be unemployed , receive public assistance , and more .

The positive piece of the study was that children and teens can develop social skills throughout childhood with some practice and work. Your child’s success in life all around: relationships, happiness, career happiness and life joy’s are connected to strong social skills.

Developing the whole child is very important. Teaching your child or teen kills to communicate with peers and family in healthy ways, tools to make friends and keep friends, skills to manage stress in life, mood regulation skills, healthy diet, exercise, and creating overall balance in your child’s life.

Children can learn healthy social skills with some guidance with parents as well as through counseling and role modeling.

Being a team player is an essential social skill for family, friendship as well as at school and at work. It is vital that a child contribute: do chores, do things he or she does not want to do to build healthy social skills.

Listening to others opinions and not thinking one knows it all is helpful with social skills.

Being grateful and thankful to your family and friends and others who do things for you. Helping you, making you dinner, providing support, doing things you enjoy etc.

Being genuine and truly interested in others lives is vital for true friendship. Children and teens should get curious about what activities parents participate in daily and ask about there day. Children and teens should ask friends about activities they enjoy at school at home in clubs etc. Listening is key and asking more questions will allow you to develop a strong relationships and build your social skills..

Parents setting rules and
standards is important for acceptable behaviors.The
social skills that make up that base of social understanding are:
learning to be patient, taking turns, being respectful to elders and
parents and authority, praising others, being thankful, manners,
listening to others, waiting your turn to speak, knowing what is
appropriate to talk about with others, setting healthy boundaries:
verbally, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

 

 

 

Learning strong social skills is important for: family, friends, dating,
meeting acquaintances, strangers, dating and more. Social skills can impact: employment , careers, keeping a job, education,
and more. Children can learn appropriate skills like: effective listening, mirroring, empathy, healthy communication skills and more to create success in all areas of life.

 

Lifeworksaz.com has been working with children, teens and families for over fifteen years on social skills, self esteem, mood, stress management and healthy life skills and more.

 

Child counseling Phoenix and Scottsdale Arizona

Monday, August 21st, 2017

Teen and adolescent years are extremely challenging for youth. It is important for parents to keep communication open and honest. Talking about your own fears and concerns are important as well.

Understand that teen mental health issues are treatable. Counseling can address many mental health issues as well as a psychiatrist for med management.

Severe changes in your child’s behavior can be a huge indication your child or teen is in need of support from a professional in the field of mental health.

Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, behavioral issues like oppositional defiance, substance abuse, a loss of self esteem, declines in academics, sleep issues and disorders, personality shifts, aggressiveness, excess anger can indicate psychological problems.

For boys aged nine to 15, suicide is now reportedly the second most common cause of death. It is a troubling statistic and one that reflects wider concerns.

Happy children have a better chance of becoming successful children and that’s why we see their emotional development as being just as important as their academic development.

Depression, anger, anxiety, body image, social skills, and self esteem are just a few areas that need to be addressed as well as behavioral and emotional issues.

A study published in Lancet Psychiatry, found that 14-year-old teens who had contact with counseling services had a greater decrease in depressive symptoms than those with similar difficulties but without contact. By the age of 17, the odds of reporting clinical depression were more than SEVEN TIMES higher in individuals without contact than in service users who had been similarly depressed at baseline. This includes other mental health services as well.

Contact with mental health services appeared to be of such value that after three years the levels of depressive symptoms of service users with a mental disorder were similar to those of almost 1000 unaffected individuals.

“Mental health and emotional issues can be painful for children, teens and adults . Research worldwide shows clearly that if we intervene at an early stage, we can see potentially dramatic improvements in teen and child symptoms of depression and reduce the risk that they go on to develop severe depressive illness.

Early prevention and finding balance through counseling, and parenting is vital for success. Looking at : sleep, diet, peers, social, self esteem, exercise, friendships, healthy habits, emotional and behavioral issues must all be addressed to spring board your child or teen into balance and success.

Teens have pain and stress and get anxious and depressed. Many adolescents are stressed about : family relationships, peer relationships, grades at school, about future careers, future jobs, future schooling , college?

Anxiety and depression are on the rise since 2012 as well as self harm. Cutting or self harm is also on the rise among adolescents as well as children. Self harm is on the rise and it is not only girls there is a high level of boys that are participating in s elf harm. Most who self harm are doing so to cope with anxiety and depression of course not all but a lot are coping with anxiety and depression. It is important to discover what is going on that is creating anxiety and depression to help each unique child as well as look at all areas of life that are causing great emotional pain.

Over 3 million teens reported an episode of depression in the past year. Over two million teens reported an incident of depression that impacted daily activities and habits. Almost seven million teens have reported an anxiety disorder. keep in mind this what is reported and there must be figures that are much higher than what is being reported statistically. Experts believe that over 27 million teens have experienced an anxiety disorder or an incident of depression that has impacted their daily functioning.

Adolescent teens have grown up watching terror and have gone through a huge recession. It is hard to get away from all the electronic screens and most media is relaying fear and negative messages to youth. When most youth have at least three screens or more it is hard to shut down the fear based stimuli unless there are strict limits enforced daily. Advertisements are bombarding youth from phones, tv, video games, web sites, movie sites, music sites and it is hard for youth to get away from it all. Most of it induces stress.

Boundaries are not being set and this is creating huge problems in relationships and at school and with mental health. Children are zoning out and parents are zoning out and time spent talking is a commodity.

Teens are stressed about dong well at school and getting into college or having a career or a job. Anxiety is a very big piece of most youths lives today in 2016. On the outside adolescents may present as calm however on the inside is great anxiety and pain.

Online bullying is big and is on the rise so not only can someone bully a child in person they can do it covertly online and cause horrible damage to children and teenagers. Many youth have committed due to bullying recently. Children and teens are cruel and unkind over instagram and show little compassion or kindness at all. Children do not want to go to school and are down and depressed due to the way others are treating them online.

Children and teens are distressed at a high level and mask it with games and music and other distractions. It is vital to talk about their thoughts and feelings daily in depth for their emotional health and physical health. Counseling can provide that balance for mental and physical health. Lifeworksaz.com has expertise in working with youth and families

 

LIFEWORKSAZ.COM specializes in working with children and teens with : depression, anxiety,mood disorders, and behavioral problems and more.

Child Counseling Phoenix, Scottsdale Arizona

Friday, August 18th, 2017

 

Children are becoming addicted to technology at a very young age. I see children refusing to give up their iPads, smart phones, gaming devices with parents all the time in my office. Children are drunk with power with these devices and these devices has the potential for addictive behaviors and addiction. It is vital to manage electronic devices in order to create a healthy and balanced child and family. As long as the child can be entertained with infinite games with technology than the child sees no reason to do chores, do homework, listen to parents, and they do not have the insight or maturity to understand that they are out of balance and their relationship with technology will create many other issues: socially, mentally, and physically.

I work with children and teens age 6-18 on a daily basis and one of the biggest challenges is a decrease in family communication face to face and spending quality time together. Families are suffering and children are drunk with power with their smartphones and video games and ipad and internet access.

Many children and teenagers are not doing homework and not studying or are spending very little time with school work. Many teens are not exercising and we know this is vital for well balanced health.

Children and teenagers are receiving limited sleep that is impacting their motivation as well as performance. Adolescents are having mood issues due to a lack of sleep and their mood is spilling out on parents and on others. Children are not able to focus in class due to insufficient sleep.

Many video games will increase aggression in your child and teen. Over forty years of research support this information and you can read more about it on my blog video game and violence.

Teen “Drug’s”: Internet, Gaming, Social media, snapchat, instagram, you tube,Smart Phone. Anxiety, Depression increase. Mood and behavioral problems increase!

What are your children and teens doing for the largest portion of their week? It is not sleep and it is not school and it is not sports and it is not reading. It is not sports or homework? It is an addiction to the internet and media.

The list of video games children and teens are playing is infinite. Many teens are playing violent video games and many are playing fantasy video games and some are playing sports related video games. Some of the most popular are: Halo, Call of Duty, League of Legends, GTA grand Theft Auto and more.

Texting is taking up many hours of your child and teen’s day and it is most likely disrupting studying for school. Many children and teens in my office state they are texting at 3am during weekdays. The result is failing and poor grades. Furthermore they are exhausted and tired and this impacts their mood daily. Research on child and teen sleep is clear a child who is not receiving adequate sleep will have mood and behavioral issues at home and at school.

Many teens are watching you tube on their smart phones for hours on end. Some are watching movies, and comedy acts, some are watching much more. Children and teens are playing video games on their phones like Clash of Clans or Mind Craft etc.

Most teens and children have created more covert accounts on Instagram and Snapchat more so than a Facebook account. Teens are spending a great deal of time on their social media programs. Some are on twitter and other apps.

The total amount of time children and teens are spending on total electronic use is between 45-70 hours a week.

Watching movies on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime is pervasive and obviously there are endless TV series and movies to last a life time at their disposal.

There are some positives in using these devices. Yes, it can be used for studies and for social connection, however, it is all about balance and there is no balance when these devices are being used so much that interpersonal and family time is at a minimum. Exercise is not on the radar. Homework completed is once in a blue moon.

An immense amount of research shows a correlation of: depression, anxiety, low self esteem, behavioral issues,poor social skills, mood issues, with the increase in internet, smart phone, and video game use.

Insomnia is on the rise and research by many medical journals state the electronic component is impacting your child’s brain and not allowing them to sleep as deeply and not allowing them to fall asleep when electronics are used late intothe night.

Children and families are being pulled apart because youth are holed up in their bedrooms glued to their smartphones and computers and I pads.

Families are not sharing their days together at the dinner table. Families are not spending enough one on one time together. Intimacy among families are on a huge decline.

Friendships are being replaced by playing a video game with someone your child has never met and feeling like this is what friendship is all about. Face to face communication has become less frequent and communication is switching to texting and internet chats.

Having someone like what you post is replacing real deep sharing of thoughts, hopes, fears, dreams.

The internet is a huge distraction for students that are studying. Many children and teens as young as 8 are going to adult web sites and watching inappropriate videos daily and are not focused on enjoying childhood. Childhood is being lost.

Physical activity is headed South and Physical health problems among youth are on the rise and is connected to inactivity. Diabetes for youth is skyrocketing and obesity is on the rise due to internet and media addiction.

Internet addiction is on the rise and children are dropping out of school due to this addiction. Creativity for children are at an all time low. Social skills, health, and mental health are at an all time low, and family communication are at an all time low as well.

LIFEWORKSAZ.com has been working with children, teens and parents to help create balance and success in children and families lives for over fifteen years.

Child Counseling Phoenix Arizona, Scottsdale

Monday, July 10th, 2017

 

 

There is a lot of research on emotional support and social skills for healthy child development. Stressors like moving, changing schools, divorce, loss of a loved one, a new school, bullying, stress on Mom and Dad all contribute to brain deficits in children pre fatally as well as in early childhood.

Social skills is crucial for success in life. I see many children and teens and they have high IQ’s however their emotional skill set and behavioral skill set as well as motivation need help.

As you speak to teachers at parent teacher conferences you can ask how your child’s social and emotional skills compare to others in his or her class.  You should also ask what the teachers see as your child’s strengths and areas that need improvement upon.

You can ask what your child needs to work on at home and what their goals are for : reading? Math? Science? writing? Focusing on goals is better than looking at grades alone.

Parents can ask how they can monitor goals and how they can help their child with these goals. Knowing what is being used to evaluate your child.

Organizational skill si huge. Disorganization is common with many intelligent children in elementary school. Many children need organizational support at home and a system to stay organized and make sure homework is done and turned in on time. Projects are not left for last minute. Enough time is created for studying for tests.  Time is managed properly.

Does your child have friends at school? How does your child interact with friends or peers? How does your child interact with adults at school? Social skills are vital for a child’s success at school.

How does your child handle frustration or challenges academically and socially and emotionally? Many children do not know what to do with their emotions and stuff them. These emotions will at some point ooze out into rage, substance abuse, addictive behaviors and more if not addressed.

Children need adequate: sleep, exercise, nutrition, listening, affection, parenting., love and more to create a healthy whole child who is balanced and successful. Parenting, counseling, coaching, teamwork with the school all will combine to create a healthy balanced child or teenager.

Counseling Children: Phoenix, Scottsdale, Cavecreek,

Tuesday, June 20th, 2017

 

 

Children and teens that spend a great deal of time on : social media, snapchat, instagram, you tube, Netflix, internet sites, hulu, facebook, texting or playing video games are not typically dealing with family and school and healthy habits. Some children may have a balance in their lives however most do not and are far out of balance and need to regain balance for health and success

 

Child and teen depression is real. Many children and teens have taken their lives due to depression. Children have : pain, trauma, loss, grief, anger, sadness, trauma and depression as well as many other challenges. Children have challenges at school, with family relationships, peer relationships, academics, emotional and behavioral issues.

Children feel : sad, lonely, and have pain and stress just like adults, however, many children do not have the skills and maturity or the tools to cope with depression.

Experts state social media does not bring people together and many times it simply isolates youth and young adults. Using more than two hours of social media per day doubled the chances a youth or young adult would fill lonely or isolated.

Many children and teens are depressed or have signs of depression. Many children and teens are struggling with : family issues, divorced families, academics, blended families, low self esteem, poor social skills, peer pressure, hormonal changes, grief and loss. Many times teens will stuff their thoughts and feelings . Some teens hide in their room and avoid communication. Some teens are on their Smart Phones, TV, Netflix, and Video games. Too much of anything is not ok and parents can ask themselves is my son or daughter in balance or out of balance with their habits? Below is a story of a Tempe Teen that was depressed and it ended tragically. The good news is there are signs of depression and the sooner one gets help the better. After the article there is a list of some red flags your child may be depressed. There are experts in treating child and teen depression through counseling and therapy and other treatments.

I have worked with thousands of teens with depressed moods and depression. Moving to a new school, change, academic pressure, not getting along with mom or Dad, negative thinking, low self esteem, social dynamics, past challenges are being carried around by children and teens and these items need to be addressed to create health and balance.

A tragedy happened at a Tempe, Arizona High school yesterday . A student athlete committed suicide at a Tempe High school not far from Arizona State University.

Teen and child depression is on the rise and can not be ignored. Depression is not an adult disorder . Millions of children and teen adolescents feel depressed and there are a slew of reasons today that impact a child or adolescents mood.

A child or teen does not have to have had a traumatic childhood in order to be depressed . A teen can have loving parents and spiritual parents and feel depressed.

As a safety measure parents should lock up all pills , medications , guns, knives , blades , weapons at all times regardless of a child’s mood. Parents should lock up all alcohol as well . Parents should monitor social media, smart phones , video game dialogue , texting , and be as involved as they can with their child or teen . Some parents would say it is an invasion of privacy however better safe than sorry . Children state they are excelling in the classroom and passing all classes however parents must still verify and look at report cards and look at missing homework assignments. Teens spend a lot of time w electronic devices and those that are in their room and not communicating daily with parents . They must get off these devices and communicate with parents about their day in detail . If not a parent has no idea why is going on mentally , physically , and emotionally with ones children .

Setting limits and boundaries and requiring family interaction is vital . Spending one on one time with your teen is important and will help find out what is going on in their lives . Make it a requirement before they use their : video games , computers , smart phones etc . Schedule one on one time with each child and this lets them know they are important as well as they are more likely to share information with you than in front of the whole family . Most children will not share their true pain or depressed mood in front of the whole family or at dinner .

I find wonderful children and teens that have very negative thought processes about themselves . Children that are excellent students and athletes still can be very depressed . Many suffer from low self esteem and many suffer from social or peer challenges . Many are depressed about family dynamics and school pressures.

The best approach is to have someone who works w children and parents guide you to help create balance and learn tools to manage depression , anxiety , self esteem, family issues and more .

Teens face a myriad of pressures , from changes in development to questions about who they are and where they are going w peers, school, and their future. The natural transition toward adulthood can bring parental challenges and conflict as the adolescent teen pushes for their independence .

It is not simple to differentiate between depression and teen mood swings . Some teens that are depressed are not sad or withdrawn . Many depressed teens are angry , full of rage , defiant, and irritable and this may be depression.

Some signs of depression in teens are: sadness , hopelessness , irritability , anger , hostility , frequent crying or tears , withdrawal from family and friends, loss of interest in activities , change in eating habits or sleep habits , agitation, restless , guilt, worthless feelings , concentrating issues , thought of death, suicidal thoughts and more.

It is best to have a professional assessment from a professional who has expertise in teen and children .

There are many signs that may indicate your teen is down or depressed or is suffering from depression.

Some red flags that should not be ignored are: sadness , crying, tearfulness, hopelessness, a decrease in activities , inability to enjoy activities that were enjoyable.

Low energy, isolation, poor communication and a lack of connection w family and friends is a sign that something is going on that needs attention. Increased irritability and anger and rage are common w depressed children and teens.

Physical complaints : stomach aches , pain , etc are signs your teenmay be depressed. Changes in sleeping habits and or eating patterns is a red flag as well .

Self destructive behaviors, suicidal thoughts, self harming, drug andalcohol abuse are signs your child need help asap!

Parents should seek professional help if any of the above are going onas soon as possible. Depression is a very serious condition that impacts : thoughts, mood,

and behaviors. Teen depression can be treated .

Teens face many stressors and pressures. Transitioning from child to an adult. Figuring out who they are and what they want to do with life . Hormonal changes and wanting to fit in socially are just a few. Teens with depression do not always appear sad. Many teens display anger and irritability and aggression. Long lasting changes in mood, behavior, personality are all huge red flags that your teen needs professional help.

Some common symptoms for teen depression are: hopelessness , sad, blue, loss of interest in activities, withdrawal from friends and family , crying and frequent tears, changes in eating , changes in sleeping, agitation , restlessness, little motivation , lack of energy or excitement , fatigue , difficulty concentrating , thoughts of death , suicide or self harm.

There are many excellent counseling tools to help elevate mood and treat depression. CBT therapy looks at unhealthy thoughts that have no facts to support them and how these thoughts impact mood. DBT has a few elements: awareness/mindfulness, distress tolerance/mood regulation, interpersonal effectiveness. These are all research based and evidence based counseling techniques that have been used for decades with positive results. There are many other effective techniques that can be used to create health and balance for your child or teenager.

Lifeworks Az has a specialization in child and teen depression counseling and therapy, child adolescent counseling, family counseling, family therapy in Phoenix Arizona, Scottsdale Arizona and serves valley wide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Video Games

 

Research on Video game and TV watching over the past few decades show that their is a correlation between the time playing video games and watching TV and aggression. Thousands of research study show that the more TV viewing and the more video game the more aggression displayed. Eliminating video games and smart phone games and TV is almost impossible however , setting limits each day on electronic is essential to your child’s success. Children and teens need time to develop: social skills, interpersonal skills, communication skills, conflict resolution, listening skills, problem solving skills, mood and stress management skills, physical exercise and more. It is clear that their is an imbalance in healthy activities for youth in America.

Diabetes and obesity are sky rocketing. Mood disorders are on the rise. Anxiety, depression, and substance dependence are on the rise. Social skills are on the decline. Insomnia is on the rise. Violence and aggression in youth and conduct disorders are on the rise.

Most parents view video games as” entertainment.” their content is not taken as seriously as that of the passive act of watching TV. After all, most adults today grew up playing pong, pac man, asteroids, space invaders, or defender. Nevertheless, what many parents might not realize is that the challenge for many players today is to rack up points by killing prostitutes after having sex with them. Video games have not only become more violent, the characters have become more real, and the effects that they are having on society, specifically women is shocking. Video games have engaged the “once spectator” to actively participate in addictive violence. Recent studies have undoubtedly concluded that the violence and negative reinforcements in video games have not only successfully promoted violence against women by desensitization, but they have also increased aggressive behavior in children and teenagers to a level that has devastated the lives of many.

Many people are shocked to discover that the video game industry is larger than the film industry. The Interactive Digital Software Association reported that video games are “the fastest growing entertainment industry in America, surpassing books, records and movie box offices combined” (Berger 2002).The video game industry projected sales for 2015 will be  128 Billion dollars annually .In 1997 the video and computer game industry generated 16 Billion dollars in economic activity, this does not include computer and video game hardware sales. In the year 2000 it became a 20 billion dollar industry and is still growing considerably (Berger, 2002). IDSA also reported at the time sixty five percent of all Americans age six and older, or about 145 million people, play computer and video games (Berger 2002). The video game industry has increased exponentially since 2002. It is stated that video games, many times is the initial experience that children have with the computer/ technology world. So, if boys tend to be the primary target of the industry, which, they are, what effect does it have on girls. In 2014 the video game industry generated over 103 Billion dollars in one year.

If a child’s interest begins with games. most common computer games involve violence and aggressive themes have the effect of turning girls away from the computers in general. This is one way of keeping women out of power. After all, these are male dominated industries. Since computer literacy is essential in most jobs, people who are exposed to computers earlier in life have an obvious advantage. The boys who outnumber the girls in gaming, will be the men who out-number the women in the business world. This may lead to the girls becoming less interested in the world of computers as a career. Girls are not the only ones who are not enamored with video games. Parents are unaware of the violence that is being reinforced hundreds of thousands of times in their child’s brain.

Teenagers report that 95 percent of the time their parents do not check the ratings or the content of video games being purchased. Ninety percent of parents do not set limits on how much time their child can play video games.

We have seen an alarming increase in violence and school shooting. Shootings at Paucah, Kentucky, Jonesboro, Arkansas, and Littleton, Colorado were all cases where the shooters were students who habitually played violent video games. The bloody game Doom was Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold’s favorite game ( they wounded 23 and killed 13). Two studies examined violent video games effect on aggression related variables. The first study found that real-live violent video games are positively related to aggressive behavior and delinquency. the second study showed lab exposure to a violent video game increased aggressive thoughts and and behaviors. The results are in line with the General Affective Aggression Model, which predicts that exposure to violent video games will increase aggressive behavior in both the short term and the long term ( Calvert, Jordan, Cocking 2000)

A study of about 329 children and media violence was done over a 21 year period by L. Rowell Huesmann at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. Girls and boys participated. This was one of the few studies that followed children into adulthood, which enabled researchers to gauge the long term effects of televised violence. Men in the top twenty percent on childhood exposure to violence were twice as likely as adults to have pushed, grabbed or shoved their wives. The women who scored in the 20 percent were twice as likely to throw something at their husbands. the study concluded that both girls and boys exposed to a lot of televison violence have a greater risk of spousal abuse and criminal offenses, no matter what they were like as children( Ritter, M., 2003). This study was based specifically on violence, however, most video games today are also including very graphic sexually violent images, which are destroying women and the morality of society as a whole.

The effects of viewing sexually violent images was researched and discussed by Ed Donnerstein, Dean and Professor of Communications at the University of California, Santa Barbara.  In his study, young adults ages 18-20 were shown a one hour documentary on battered women. After watching the film, the viewers showed less empathy toward the victims. They lowered their evaluation on the level of injury that the women received. They also under estimated the level of pain that must have been experienced. Both men and women were more likely to display indifference toward the victims. many blamed the rape on the ladies and believed that the women brought it to themselves. It is clear that watching these images are negative, however, the video game industry uses reinforcement tactics to hook children, teens, and adults making the game, not just interactive but addictive. Violence in America and against women has increased since the rise of video games across the country. These games are highly addictive and use many psychological reinforcement principles to hook children to wanting to continue to play. Many youth are playing video games 40 hours a week.

Violence was declared the number one health problem for women in 1992, sadly, recent studies have concluded that the problem is not decreasing ( Violence, Women, and  the Media, 2000). For example , consider the following statistics: the single major cause of injury to American women is domestic violence, exceeding gang violence, muggings, murders, and accidents ( The Commonwealth Fund, 1993). In the US, one women is raped every two minutes (National Crime Victimization survey, 1996). One in every seven women has been raped in her life time (Daily News, November 18,1998). Also, In America a woman is physically abused every nine seconds ( The Commonwealth Fund, July 1993). In emergency rooms more than one third of American women have suffered physical or sexual abuse ( Sternberg S. 1999) And a staggering thirty percent of women murdered in the US are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends ( national Crime Victimization Survey,1996). Researchers have found that the way the media depicts women influences how women are viewed and treated in society( Violence, Women, and the Media, 2000). For example, many video games are very degrading and often depict women as victims of violence. Also many video games also portray women as sex objects.

In the year 2000 half of the top selling video games contained negative images about girls according to (Children, Now 2000). For example unrealistic body images, high pitched voices,fainting, violence, and provocative sexuality is promoted.

Twenty eight percent of games in a study show women as inferior and powerless. In games like Grand Theft Auto boys are taught women can be treated brutally and this is reinforced in the video game.

Players of Grand Theft Auto get rewarded if they kick and kill the prostitute to death after they have sex with her. Sounds shocking, but it is true and is one of the most popular video games among children and teenagers in the US. After playing for 4-8 hours a day, these acts of violence begin to seem normal.

In the recent shooting at UCSB the 22 year old male stated many phrases in his you tube video regarding slaughtering women and others. He also stated that video games were a way for him to avoid: rejection, loneliness, humiliation, depression, and pain from not having a girlfriend and not having what he wanted sexually and in  relationships. The UCSB shooter mimicked many specific phrases from the video game World Of War Craft relating to specific violence and rage. The UCSB shooter also played: Diablo, and Halo as well as many other video games.

Anders Breivik, the right-wing extremist who has confessed to killing 77 people during a murder spree in Norway last summer, played the violent computer game World of Warcraft nearly seven hours a day for several consecutive months before his attack, prosecutors say.

Breivik, 33, already known to have a long history with the online role-playing game, was particularly absorbed by it between November 2010 and February 2011, when he played for an average of 6 hours and 50 minutes per day, according to prosecutors.

Two decades of research had shown that repeated exposure to violence blunts emotional reactions and makes people less likely to help others in need ( Levine, 1996). Perfectly normal people no longer recognize violence because it is so prevalent in the media. People grow numb to violence with repeated exposure via media. People become less responsive to human pain and begin to lose awareness of what it means to be human.

Before the Vietnam War, fewer than 20 percent of soldiers on the front lines would actually fire at the enemy, however, with games such as Doom used as conditioning tools fdor the soldiers, the US military kill rate increased to (0 percent in Vietnam. With video games, our military scientifically overcame the soldier’s innate resistance to killing ( game Over, 2000) Violent video games are the mental equivalent of putting an assault rifle in the hands of every American child. By sitting mindlessly, killing countless thousands of fellow members of their own species without any ramifications or repercussions, operant conditioning concepts transfer immediately when the individual gets a real weapon in their hand and are being taught violence. The recent school shootings in 2008 and 2007 serve as an example of a link between video games and heightened aggressive behaviors.

For the video game child/ teenager or gamer, beating a previous high score, or winning a free game, or having sex with a prostitute is all part of Skinnerian reinforcement. behavior that is followed by reinforcement will increase in frequency. In short, video games that make a child or teen or adult feel good will be played again and again. A partial reinforcement schedule will lead to behavior that occurs more often with and is more resilient to extinction than does a continuous reinforcement schedule. These two effects of partial reinforcement produce what is considered addictive behavior. These irregular schedules of reinforcement are in part, what cause these video games to be so exciting and desirable. Tis kind of reinforcement, which causes addictive behaviors can explain why their is an increase in the video game industry as a whole.

The AMA states that anywhere in the world where TV appears, 15 years later the murder rate doubles. Ten thousand murders per year, 70,000 rapes, and 700,000 assaults. We must consider the impact of violent video games on the minds and behaviors of our society. The evidence is clear violence breeds more violence in the majority of situations.

Many children are having challenges sleeping at night and have great anxiety. The children report that their nightmares are specific to the video games they are playing. Research shows a lack of sleep impacts: mood, anger, depression, and behavior as well as performance.

The 93 Billion dollar Video game industry must be taken seriously. It must start with education and healthy parenting. It must come with boundaries and limitations. It must come with healthy communication and listening to children and teenagers. It must come from healthy role modeling from parents. The video game industry is no different than access to violence on TV or on the internet. Violence and abuse physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually is not ok!

There are 100’s of violent video games out there one is: Call of Duty Black Ops:This gritty, extremely violent military first-person shooter (pictured above) involves constant killing using realistic weapons, with blood and gore pouring across the screen during more intense scenes. Cinematic sequences can be even more dramatic and graphic, with soldiers and civilians alike dying in horrible ways, including graphic melee kills, people burning to death, civilians killed in crossfire, torture, and a shipping container filled with rotting corpses. In one scene, the player steps into the shoes of a villain and goes on a murderous rampage against soldiers, the screen turning red with blood rage as he takes damage. This M-rated game also has frequent profanity, some sexual themes, and drug use.

Do you want your child assaulting woman? Killing prostitutes? Raping people? This is what is going on in many video games above and beyond brutal violence.

Do we really want our children actively involved and engaged in violent games daily; the same type of games that the US military uses to increase kill rates at war? Garbage in garbage out. We must find healthy activities that create health and balance for our youth and violent video games is not the solution.

Written by David R Abrams

MAPC, LPC, CAGS

Lifeworks AZ  Phoenix Arizona, Scottsdale Arizona

Child Teen Family Counseling and Therapy

 

Child counseling Anxiety : Phoenix, Scottsdale, Cavecreek Arizona

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017

Most children carry their own worries and stressors however some can become overwhelming just like for an adult.

 

Anxiety is the number one diagnosed mental health issue in Arizona and in the United States of America for children and teenagers. Experts believed depression was number one however recent studies show that anxiety impacts more youth and children that any other diagnosis in the field of mental health.

 

Children are under stress even if parents are not aware of it all the time. Children want to fit in with peers, be loved, be accepted, build relationships, make friends, have positive family relationships, excel in academics, excel in sports, and much more.

 

Children can learn tools to manage anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, separation anxiety, generalized anxiety,and phobias so they can achieve their goals as well as be well balanced an happy and successful in life.

 

Separation anxiety is normal between the ages of 15 months and 3 years, however, when the anxiety of separation continues past age three it can become more of a large problem.

 

When the anxiety makes it difficult for a child to participate at school, socialize with friends, or take part in community activities or family events and interferes with normal activities and functioning one can tell this is not normal stress and this is becoming an issue of anxiety or a potential anxiety disorder.

 

When a parent can see the child is not growing out of the above it is time to bring your child to a child anxiety specialist in mental health to do an assessment and work on goals to manage anxiety and overcome anxiety.

 

Anxiety disorders can be treated in a wide array of modalities. A child must first receive adequate sleep every night and must also have a healthy daily diet and not skip meals.

 

One of the best activities for your child is for him or her to be very active physically each day : biking, running, dancing, soccer, golf, basketball, tennis, football, baseball, and more. Doing yoga is a great tool to treat anxiety in children as well as adults.

 

Helping a child and parents with a behavior modification program tailored to their unique child is a great tool to create desired change and help with anxiety. Working with parents to understand their child’s anxiety and the reasons it is escalating is important. A team approach is always best with anxiety disorders and youth.

 

Children can learn distraction techniques as well as diaphragmatic breathing to relax the nervous system. Youth can learn mindfulness exercises as well. Many children can learn progressive relaxation techniques as well as many powerful tools that can manage anxiety and help them overcome fears an anxiety.

 

Child anxiety has a genetic component however it also has an environmental component as well.

 

Most anxiety medications are very addictive so Psychiatrists are hesitant to prescribe these medications due to the propensity to get addicted.

 

Parents must know that a child’s anxiety is not an indication of poor parenting . Children are wired in a certain manner and the great news is it can be fixed and children and families can learn tools to overcome anxiety and manage it .

 

 

Anxiety and stress can be simple and it can be complex. Research at Stanford state deep breathing triggers neurons in the brain which tell the body it is time to relax. There are 175 neurons which tell the brain whats going on and the neurons link breathing to : relaxation, attention and excitement and anxiety located deep in the brain stem. There are many methods to assits with anxiety and stress reduction some are : CBT, DBT, Visual Behavioral methods, and more. Many children and teens have anxiety that is not diagnosed.

Child anxiety is stressful and painful for families. Activities that once were enjoyable are avoided and parents hear complaints of stomach problems, and various aches and pains, headaches and more. Learning ways to cope with anxiety is important. It is a fine balancing act however avoiding school and avoiding sleeping alone and avoiding new things is not creating a balance for your child or teenager. Forcing a child may be overwhelming and can be a failed approach as well. It is important that parents understand that anxiety can be debilitating and your child may no be manipulating and may not be lazy.

Many children that have behavioral issues like oppositional defiance or conduct disorders also have underlying anxiety that they do not know how to handle or identify. Learning skills to manage anxiety is vital to you child’s success socially as well as academically and behaviorally and emotionally. Most children can not articulate what is going on inside their bodies and minds. They must learn skills and tools to address their anxiety.

Some children can manifest itself in different ways. One way might be to avoid situations that are uncomfortable. Another way might be to escape the situation and this can be seen or perceived as oppositional or defiant when it is really fear based. Behavioral dysregulation is common with children and teens that have anxiety disorders: panic attacks, phobia, social anxiety, PTSD, Post traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorders , obsessive compulsive disorder and other anxiety disorders.

Children that display temper tantrums, behavioral problems at school, throw things at school, throw themselves down and cry and have full blown outburst may have a profound anxiety disorder however this needs to be assessed by a professional. Anxiety disorders need to be assessed and treated by a professional in mental health care.

Academic pressure and demands in the classroom can trigger anxiety and this will look like disruptive behaviors. The child may feel overwhelmed and anxious and not be able to cope with the teachers request or the assignment. The child might be intelligent however he or she may have a learning challenge or trouble with the task and feel overwhelmed hence unable to do the task and act out behaviorally.

Most teachers are not trained in identifying anxiety disorders and a child or teenager typically will end up in suspension or in the Principals office being punished. This does not address the underlying issue that may be an anxiety disorder.

A child that is diagnosed with ADHD may have an anxiety disorder instead that looks like: impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention however this needs to be evaluated by a professional. A lot of times individuals jump to ADHD diagnosis when really the child or teen is suffering with an anxiety disorder. An anxiety disorder may be primary and for example ADHD is secondary or it may be the other way around. There are a number of other diagnosis as well that may be co-occuring with a child or teens anxiety.

There are many factors that can contribute to anxiety or anxiety disorders: obsessive compulsive disorders, Panic disorders, social anxiety, Phobias, general anxiety, Panic attacks, PTSD Post traumatic stress disorders and more.

It is important to look at many elements in an individuals life: medications, factors during inception and birth, environmental factors, Drugs, marijuana, alcohol, Stressors, Trauma from the past ( emotional, physical, mental), sleep, diet, daily habits, negative cognitions daily, genetics in the family from Mom and Dad as well as other family members and their traumas as well.

 

Many practitioners give meds without addressing the root causes of the anxiety. It is important to look at all the above and more in order to create the best plan to reduce anxiety. I have worked with anxiety disorders for over 15 years and have seen a combination of many elements that exacerbate anxiety disorders. It is vital to look at all the above areas in order to really manage your child’s anxiety or your anxiety as best as possible. Not looking at sleep for example and treating the disorder without a change in sleep will most likely not be very successful since sleep is an important element in mood disorders.

Brain experts believe a diet that is heavy in inflammation food consumption and low in healthy fats affects the risk of obtaining anxiety or anxiety disorders. Anxiety is extremely high in those with high sensitivity to gluten.

Medication is used to treat ADHD , however, research shows that it also leads to anxiety disorders, as well as other symptoms including but not limited to addiction.

There are many tools an anxiety client can learn in order to manage an anxiety disorder be it panic attacks, phobias, generalized anxiety, PTSD, etc.

Some tools include: Cognitive behavioral therapy, Visual behavioral tools, Deep breathing, DBT and more.

Child and teenage Anxiety often manifests as a physical symptom like pain, fatigue, or inability to sleep. 30 percent of patients seen by primary care practitioners have at least one ANXIETY disorder.

Having a children follow healthy lifestyle behaviors may be an effective intervention either alongside or in the place of traditional ADHD medications.

Some of the research based tools in counseling psychology to manage anxiety are: EMDR, DBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Progressive Relaxation, VMBR, Exposure therapy, and mindfulness.

Child anxiety is stressful and painful for families. Activities that once were enjoyable are avoided and parents hear complaints of stomach problems, and various aches and pains, headaches and more. Learning ways to cope with anxiety is important. It is a fine balancing act however avoiding school and avoiding sleeping alone and avoiding new things is not creating a balance for your child or teenager. Forcing a child may be overwhelming and can be a failed approach as well. It is important that parents understand that anxiety can be debilitating and your child may no be manipulating and may not be lazy.

Many children that have behavioral issues like oppositional defiance or conduct disorders also have underlying anxiety that they do not know how to handle or identify. Learning skills to manage anxiety is vital to you child’s success socially as well as academically and behaviorally and emotionally. Most children can not articulate what is going on inside their bodies and minds. They must learn skills and tools to address their anxiety.

Some children can manifest itself in different ways. One way might be to avoid situations that are uncomfortable. Another way might be to escape the situation and this can be seen or perceived as oppositional or defiant when it is really fear based. Behavioral dysregulation is common with children and teens that have anxiety disorders: panic attacks, phobia, social anxiety, PTSD, Post traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorders , obsessive compulsive disorder and other anxiety disorders.

Children that display temper tantrums, behavioral problems at school, throw things at school, throw themselves down and cry and have full blown outburst may have a profound anxiety disorder however this needs to be assessed by a professional. Anxiety disorders need to be assessed and treated by a professional in mental health care.

Academic pressure and demands in the classroom can trigger anxiety and this will look like disruptive behaviors. The child may feel overwhelmed and anxious and not be able to cope with the teachers request or the assignment. The child might be intelligent however he or she may have a learning challenge or trouble with the task and feel overwhelmed hence unable to do the task and act out behaviorally.

Most teachers are not trained in identifying anxiety disorders and a child or teenager typically will end up in suspension or in the Principals office being punished. This does not address the underlying issue that may be an anxiety disorder.

A child that is diagnosed with ADHD may have an anxiety disorder instead that looks like: impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention however this needs to be evaluated by a professional. A lot of times individuals jump to ADHD diagnosis when really the child or teen is suffering with an anxiety disorder. An anxiety disorder may be primary and for example ADHD is secondary or it may be the other way around. There are a number of other diagnosis as well that may be co-occuring with a child or teens anxiety.

It is important to find a professional that has daily experience working with children and teens . Children and teens can learn tools and skills to manage and cope with anxiety and other disorders. Parents can learn skills as well to help create success and balance in your child’s life. David Abrams MAPC, LPC, CAGS has over 15 years experience working with families and youth treating anxiety disorders. Lifeworksaz.com has testimonials and more information.

Receiving input form parents on daily and weekly behaviors and working together to modify unhealthy habits and routines as well as setting up a system that is reward based for positive behaviors is vital in creating balance and success for your Child and Teen. Lifeworksaz.com works with your child as well as with parents to create a system of change and balance in your child’s life. David Abrams MAPC, LPC Counseling anxiety can be reached at his web site phone number or email from his web site at Lifeworksaz.com

 

 

Child Teen Counseling Therapy : Phoenix, Cave Creek, Scottsdale Arizona

Wednesday, February 15th, 2017

Child and Teen screen time is on the rise and yes there is research related to violent games, tv, videos and aggression.

Many adolescents and children feel empowered when they use: smart phones, video games, texting, Netflix, Instagram,You tube, Reddit, Snapchat, and more.

The problems that arise are why limits must be firm on screen time and electronic usage.

Children and teens spend more time on their video games and their social media and TV than they do on homework and studying. Grades begin to suffer not do to a lack of IQ or ability but simply a lack of motivation and effort. Children that do not spend the time doing homework do not get as good of grades typically as those that do turn in homework.

Screen time is a get away and a distraction and many children are very addicted to their screen time. Another big issue with electronics is that it’s over use is impacting most teen and children as far as their ability to sleep. Many children and teens have : IPADS, Smartphones , Laptops, Computers, in their rooms and they will pull them out past there bed time and play games, text, etc. Most children are suffering from sleep deprivation in that the average child or teen 10-18 needs 9-10 hours sleep and many are only getting 5 hours sleep due to being up on their electronics. Children and teens are more irritable, angry, moody, anxious, and depressed than ever before due to the lack of sleep. Children are tired in class and unfocused and have little energy or motivation for school work and homework.

Screens become more important than talking to family and spending time with family. Communication with family can be very poor and often goes South due to the affinity for electronics.

There is a great deal of research that shows behaviors are influenced by what we watch. If a child is playing an aggressive game for 40 hours a week than he is learning aggression. He is not learning empathy or compassion. Garbage in Garbage out is an old saying but holds true when hours are spent being bombarded with violence.

Many children get sucked into the screen vortex and are not developing their social skills at school or with friends on the weekend . Social skills are important for adulthood as well as academics.

Parents can look at their child’s life: homework, interpersonal skills, family time, chores, sleep, mood, grades and see if their child is in balance?

Positive change can happen and I see it all the time in my office. Angry and irritable behaviors can improve. Grades can move North.. Communication can change. Listening and respect at home can improve. It takes some work and additional support however it is worth it in the long run for all. A reduction in family stress is important!

Child therapy counseling: behavior, emotional Phoenix, CaveCreek, Scottsdale Az.

Sunday, February 12th, 2017

Signs and symptoms that a child may have a mental-health or substance-use disorder can be a major change in behavior, mood and friends. Many parents have an intuitive vibe that something is off balance in their child or teen.

Over twenty percent of children and adolescents suffer from a mental health disorders or a learning disability. Over eight one percent of all psychological challenges or disorders begin in childhood.

When mental health issues are not addressed children suffer in school as well as at home and with peers. They also have very negative outcomes in life when left un treated through mental health therapy and counseling as well as other treatments.

Schools have a huge impact on your child and his or her success. If a child is struggling in school this is a huge red flag. If your child is struggling with academics, peers, social, grades, behavior, or emotionally.

School is on your child’s mind all the time. He or she has reports from school, grades from school, friendships from school. If your child is not having positive reports or behaviors than things need to change.

A child’s self esteem and feeling a sense of friendship and belonging is fostered in school . If your child is coming home with poor grades and behavioral issues it is time to figure out a behavior plan to change this in school as well as make shifts at home.

Some schools provide a behavioral plan and have adept teachers that have a small class and are able to encourage your child and help mold their behavior in a positive way. Most schools are overwhelmed and teachers have no time to work on classroom behaviors, social skills, self esteem, giving one on one time to your child. Your child may very well need one on one time in a small setting and not a classroom of 30 plus students to learn.

There are special services that schools can provide to assist your child with his emotional and behavioral challenges when they are interfering with school.

Parents can learn skills to help their children with behavioral and emotional needs at home to make the behaviors transition to the school. Behavior modification is just one way. Creating a plan daily is vital to make positive behavioral changes. It takes some work like a team however you do not have to have ten more years of poor grades and behavior issues at school if you get early support for your child and adolescent. Early intervention with someone who has expertise with children and teens and families in mental health is best.

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.