I watched a movie called Fat boy chronicles today . The story is about a high school boy who is overweight and is suffering . Many other teens are in pain and it is above and beyond body image issues . Social peer relationships are important and being accepted is important in high school .

Jimmy a boy in high school is teased and bullied about his weight . He is fourteen years old and weighs 188 pounds.The main character has a class where he is required to write in a journal three times per week.

Jimmy is angry , frustrated , and sad about being teased and bullied and very few people reach out to him to become his friend . Jimmy feels all alone at high school .

He has many negative self cognitions like : ” I am a loser . I don’t matter . If I was not here no one would notice .” He states the other students do not see his strengths all they see is he is fat.

Jimmy meets a friend Paul whom does not follow his family rules and has a Dad who is an alcoholic . He is unhappy at his home and goes to party’s . Paul’s dad is found dead and Paul runs away. Jimmy reunites with Paul at a hospital .

Jimmy meets a girl his class Sable and she is cutting her arms . She tells him that some have scars that can not be healed with exercise . She is basically telling him she is in great pain and is not overweight .
Jimmy is asked to tutor the schools QB whom previously bullied him . The QB is struggling with math and
Jimmy tutors him even though the QB is verbally abusive . The QB eventually sticks up for him and protects him from another bully at the school . The QB passed his class and received a full scholarship to college and thanks Jimmy for his help .

Failure helps people learn about compassion. Some perceived disappointments are really opportunities to learn . Giving up is easy however getting back up is hard .

Jimmy starts exercising to lose weight and feel healthy . Jimmy kisses Sable in front of everyone in the middle of the cafeteria .

Jimmy’s world changed . He figured out who he was and that school was more than just about his weight . Jimmy begins to have a steady relationship w Sable andAligns w the QB.

Many teens get stuck and are in emotional pain . They need an objective support system : counselor , coach , mentor to break old patterns and create desired change .

I read the 141 page manifesto of the UCSB Shooter. Here is some information that shaped his life: His parents divorced at a young age and this was very difficult for him. The victimizer had to bounce from mom’s home to dad’s home and his parent’s moved quite often. He had a few Nanny’s that took care of him and attended private schools as well as public school. He states in his manifesto that he felt devastated when his parents divorced. He further states he was a happy child and was blissful in his early life. He does not state he had a negative relationships with either parent however did state his Dad was traveling often and was not around often. He moved to different schools and this was a challenging adjustment for him. He states he wanted to fit in however he felt rejected, lonely, and bullied. His self esteem was shaped by his thoughts that he was not cool enough and did not fit in. The victimizer tried to fit in however he states he failed to be accepted and states many times that he felt rejected and worthless.

The victimizer states he could not get a girlfriend and that he could not be accepted socially with the popular children or teens. He tried skateboarding and felt deficient in skateboarding. He believed he was short and not athletic and that because of this girls did not see his value. Elliot states his anger and rage, jealousy and envy toward society increased when he would see attractive girls with boyfriends and when he would hear that his peers were having sex and he was not. Jealousy and envy toward those who were attractive and were in relationships was a theme as well as those who were having sex. He states that many peers were having sex and enjoying lives pleasures and he was excluded from these pleasures because females did not gravitate towards him. Elliot felt powerless and inferior. He states he was different being half asian and half white. He states he was teased and bullied. He also states he sought negative attention by acting out at school because he craved attention.

Elliot played video games like: Halo, Diablo, and world of warcraft. He states that these games filled his void. He was lonely, angry and depressed. He mention’s how the games were very addictive and he immersed himself in these games as a diversion and an escape. He was depressed and struggled with social interactions that he desired.

The victimizer felt like a victim this was his perception and felt powerless. He felt he needed to have retribution and would take it out on sorority girls and others. He premeditated his murderous spree and discusses victimizing and killing in detail in his manifesto as well as killing himself.

In conclusion he was in a great deal of pain. His family was well to do however his negative perceptions of self, low self esteem, feelings of loneliness, rejection, envy, embarrassment  and jealousy would fuel his anger and rage that spilled out on innocent people. This is very sad and tragic.

Self esteem is how a child evaluates him or herself . Many children have a very negative thought process of themselves . If a child thinks poorly of themselves their behavior often will be poor . Addressing self esteem is vital in helping a child’s behavior challenges .

Children can learn healthy life skills and this will help them become more successful . Success will develop into more positive interactions with: teachers , peers , and family and this will help children enhance their self esteem which is a foundation that will be carried with them in all activities for life .

Parents can work on positive feedback for the small steps a child takes and focus on the good . Taking time to really listen and understand your child is important .

Alot has been written in relation to a healthy sense of self.

Teens receive negative messages from society in many ways: peers,
school, tv, society, media and self.

It is essential to empower our teens with positive thoughts.

Society focuses on performance and many teens feel they are " not good
enough", "not smart enough" and simply not valuable.

It is important to praise children and teens for their effort and not
the final outcome.

Positive praise is contagious and can motivate your teen or child to
accomplish many things: chores, good grades, community service,
philanthropic activities and more.

Take time each day to find the gifts in your children and communicate
these gifts to them daily.

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Self esteem is about how much we value ourselves and how worthwhile a
child or teen or adul feels about themselves.

Teens struggle to feel accepted and to fit with peers. Development
impacts self esteem.

Academics and grades impact self esteem. If a child or teen feels like
he can not excel in school
His/her self esteem will take a heavy blow since a child and teens job
is to go to school and learn.

Learning what makes one happy and how one can meet their goals.

A positive attitude and healthy life choices is vital to a strong self
esteem.

David Letterman is under fire for making a joke about S Palin’s daughter getting knocked up by a a major league baseball player. I am not saying it is right or wrong however….A politician states it is effecting children and teens self esteem. Media can impact self esteem..yes!

IN the USA we have free speech and free will. We can choose to turn of TV. How many shows are out there that make sexual jokes? We have a TV show called weeds which I have not seen , however, I am told it is a ref to marijuana. I did see an add implying that the star is the hemptress which is clearly a marijuana related term.

We can turn TV’s off and turn the Internet off. There is so much pornography and unhealthy mass hypnosis out there that are bombarding children and teens and polluting our minds.. TV is marketed to the average third grade mind and 98% of society is watching hours per day.

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It is up to parents to plant healthy seeds in their children and teens minds. It is up to parents to spend time listening and talking to children and teenagers. It is the parents responsibility to set limits on TV and Internet and video game usage… Parents must set boundaries and say no.. Do you really want TV and the Internet teaching values and ethics to your children??? We must wake up now!!!!