Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Anger management Counseling providing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Sunday, May 10th, 2020

Anger that is not resolved will build up into unhealthy behaviors or physical symptoms. It can take a lot of time out of your day. Learning to express your anger in healthy ways is vital to cope with mood and anger. Anger is legal in the USA it is what one does with it that can or can not cause problems with your family or wife or girlfriend.

Anger is an emotion that can be mild or it can turn into rage and or violence and aggression. Unchecked anger can turn into yelling at people or property damage or heart problems due to stuffing the intense anger over a period of time.

Anger management is a counseling skill you can learn with practice so you do not destroy your relationships with those you care about or a lose a job or peers you care about.

CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an evidence based and research based therapy that is excellent at managing anger. I have been teaching it for over fifteen years to help with mood regulation and anger management as well as with other emotional issues or disorders. CBT involves changing the way you think and behave and in turn impacts your emotions ( anger, sadness, fear etc) Changing what you are doing and what you are thinking are essential in changing your behavior, mood, and actions!

Assessing if your anger is healthy anger vs toxic anger is important. Anger can be a sign that someone is not treating you with respect or in a healthy way for example Anger is not good or bad it is what you do with your anger that is important .

Daily exercise is essential to help manage anger. It will help improve your frustration and irritability. It will also help you reduce stress so when something triggers you it will be more manageable.

Exploring your thoughts and feelings is important in managing your anger and mood as well. Knowing what triggers you is important so you can handle the arising feeling in a healthy way .

Learning exercises to calm down each day is important. It may be imagery or visualization and a safe place. It may be taking a bath or a shower. It may be smelling a scented candle that is relaxing to you each day.

Anger that is not dealt with builds and builds and eventually oozes out in unhealthy ways : verbal abuse and yelling , aggression,
inappropriate anger , violence and many other unhealthy behaviors. It can ruin your marriage, friendships, employment , and more


Anger that us not managed impacts
your physical health, relationships, mood, work, family, and friends. Create health and happiness and balance through counseling .

www.LifeWorksaz.com  has 15 years specializing in counseling and therapy for anger management and mood management in Phoenix Arizona and works with clients providing therapy and counseling to those from : Scottsdale Arizona ,Arcadia Arizona , Biltmore Arizona ,Cave Creek Arizona. Ahwatukee Arizona., Goodyear , Peoria Arizona, Glendale Arizona , paradise valley Arizona , Tempe Arizona , Chandler Arizona,

Counseling ADHD teens with CBT Therapy.

Saturday, May 9th, 2020

Fifty percent of adults with ADHD have an anxiety disorder according to a 2018 research study. Thirty percent of youth that have an ADHD diagnosis have an anxiety disorder. The great news is that these issues can be managed and treated through counseling and therapy as well as life style modifications.

Children are having a challenging time having to stay inside during this pandemic. Many youth are becoming more angry and irritable due to being on lock down! Children are having more : breakdowns, temper tantrums, anxiety, behavioral issues, mood issues, and more.

Children are aware of the pandemic and they have fears and anxieties and concerns even if they are not verbally communicated.

Most children and teens have not had so much free time in their day. Online classes takes a small fraction of the normal school day. Children and teens are bored and have to deal with their thoughts and their emotions and this is challenging when they have not had as much free time to really think about their thoughts and feelngs.

Many children as well as teens do not have the insight into their social anxiety with peers. You may see your child spending all his time on video games. Talking on Xbox to individuals is not true social skills. In life your child will need to develop friendships and learn to interact with peers face to face. Developing friendships is actually seeing other children or teens outside of school on a regular basis. Sitting at lunch with peers is not a real friendship being you have to be at school and you have to eat lunch while at school.

During this time of social distancing it is vital that your child reach out to peers 3-4 times a week. It can be via : text, snapchat, Instagram, or actually talking to them! Talking is best. Hiding behind electronics is not as effective!

By maintaining social contact your child will be helping himself renew these friendships when he returns to school . Instead of having a huge void in their contact and feel like he knows little about what they did during the pandemic as well not feeling connected to their lives and hence their friendship.

Counseling and treatment at www.Lifewwworksaz.com will teach skills for a life time. David Abrams MAPC, LPC, CAGs has a specialty in helping children and teens as well as adults create balance in life. Learning how to balance school work, family, peers, chores, and employment is vital. Finding out ways to balance anxiety and ADHD behaviors to create success is important for a life time. Meds do not change a child or teens thoughts however Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a powerful tool in empowering a child and teen for success and 

Teen and College Mental Health tips: Mind and Body Covid 19.

Friday, May 8th, 2020

Over thirty percent of college students state their mental health has worsened since COVID 19. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, substance use and abuse are on the rise. This is true for most parents and adults as well.

College students are encountering huge adjustments to their College experiences. Social isolation has shown negative impacts on mental health as well as depression. There are financial stressors due to the economy and financial institutions as well as the job outlook during these times of record unemployment.

The school structure has radically changed with online classes and most students not living in the dorms and back at home or in their apartments. Many have a new environment for studying some are used to studying in a library or a quiet coffee shop. This has all been changed and a new environment must be created for studies.

Students are watching movies while chatting on the phone to maintain social interactions , however, social interactions have shown a reduction of over 92 percent.

Here a few important tips to stay healthy mentally during COVID insanity.

Make sure you get up off the couch and move. Movement releases endorphins that boost mood and reduce stress. Serotonin , dopamine and norepinephrine are released during exercise. This gives you an overall good feeling as well it allows you to feel you have a sense of control. Do not let a gym or yoga class closure stop you from exercising. There are many apps as well as you tube videos for exercise. Taking a walk is a great start as well as stretching.

Stay connected daily to your family and friends. You can pick up the phone and talk and video chat for free on many apps or you might have an i-phone and be able to do face time etc. 

Eat healthy foods like vegetable and fruits and low calorie foods. It is easy to find comfort in sugary foods ,however, this can negatively impact your mental health so do a

80/20 balance and make sure you are exercising as well . Of course you can have food you enjoy just make sure you are balancing it with healthy foods and exercise. Foods that have: Vitamin A, Vitamin C, as well as lean proteins help your boost immune system health. Many research papers state that Vit D ( sun) is vital for healthy immune systems. There are also supplements a Physician can prescribe for you.

Take time to take care of yourself  and your feelings via counseling or journaling or meditation. Take time for yourself each day to relax and de stress.  Practice “belly breathing” daily. It will lower stress as well as build the strength of your lungs.  Sit in a comfortable position with your shoulders back . Inhale slowly through the nose for the count of four. Allow your stomach to balloon out. Exhale all stress through your mouth for the count of four slowly. Pause for two seconds and repeat the process.

Practice good posture when you are working at the computer. The top of your computer should be horizontal with your eyes. Your back should be supported and if it is not get a pillow to support it.

Keep a regular routine for sleep. If you have a routine your sleep will be better and you will find yourself more rested and your mental health will improve as well. Turn off electronics at least an hour before bed because the blue light has a negative impact on the hormone melatonin and this will negatively impact your sleep. Take a warm shower or bath or drink a relaxing non caffeinated tea.Take this time to set goals that you have not done in relation to : self, school, family, work, health and more. Take time to reconnect with quality friends .

David with www.lifeworksaz.com provides counseling and therapy services to teens, adults, and families to create balance in behavior and mental health as well as emotional health. David Abrams MAPC , LPC has been working w expertise in these areas for over 18 years.

College Counseling Tips to help Transition from High School.

Thursday, May 7th, 2020

Transitioning to college or University can be very challenging for many adolescent teenagers. I have been working with teenagers for over 17 years helping them find balance and teaching them tools to be successful in life. Being balanced means balancing self care with: social and friendships, academics, and family, and a career or employment. Being aware from parents can be frightening and being on your own can be overwhelming for many teenagers.

I have worked with many gifted teenagers that are exceling in their academics, however, they are not mentally prepared for going off to University. 

Many teenagers have a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress and this is impairing their abilities to do homework as well as obtaining adequate sleep. 

Fear of being on their own and having to fend for themselves is another common stressor. Having to get their own meals and wash their own clothing and pick up after them-selves.

Being separated from their parents is also a very common fear. Living in a new environment with dorm mates or roommates is a huge change and a big source of anxiety.

Social fears are also a big source of stress. Who will they meet? Losing old friends and having to meet new friends is a big source of anxiety as well. Joining new organizations like a Fraternity or Sorority is stressful for youth. Developing quality relationships is a huge stressor for many youth in the USA.

Many Teens are taught that you have to go to an Ivy League school to get a good job or a career path. The reality is that many college grads from all over the country get jobs in a variety of fields: Film, law, Computers, Medicine, Engineering etc, Music etc.

Negative thoughts about their performance in college is very common. Feeling that their University will not be “good enough” for their future is a common theme. Helping youth understand how their negative unhealthy thoughts are hurting their mood and their performance is a huge part of empowering youth through CBT and other forms of therapy.

Going off to college is a huge transition. Many youth are not used to the freedom and being away from home. Having freedom requires your child or teen to have strong boundaries and a powerful work ethic . Being self motivated and having excellent time management skills is essential to have a balance : academics, family, social, sleep, exercise, good nutrition and a job.

I have worked with many teens to help give them tools to prepare for college success. Being successful mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Twenty five percent of teenagers going to college have a diagnosable mental health disorder. As an example many teens start smoking marijuana and have used marijuana. The teen may just use weed occasionally however it could be dependence or an addiction to marijuana. When disorders such as : depression, anxiety, addictions, mood disorders go untreated these issues can become more debilitating and impact health, grades, relationships and much more.

Over eight percent of college and University students are feeling overwhelmed by their responsibilities at school or with work or both.

Almost forty percent of college students have experienced some level of Depression in the last year. Depression with college aged teens and older was the number one reason why they dropped out of college. Depression can impact ones ability to eat, sleep, work, studying, going to classes and more. Obviously suicide and self harm or harm to others are also concerns with depression in college.

Some symptoms one might have for depression are the following however each person may have different symptoms and some may mask their symptoms in a variety of ways. Here are some potential symptoms of depression among college students: feeling sad and unhappy, change in weight, gaining weight, losing weight, slowed thinking or speech, loss of interest in social activities or events, fatigue, loss of energy, sleeplessness, feeling guilty, feeling angry, feeling bad about past failures ( perceived), trouble focusing or concentrating, indecisiveness, irritability, frustration for no specific reason, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of dying, death, suicide, not enjoying things once enjoyed, not attending classes, extreme sadness or anger over a relationship, relationships. These are all huge red flags to get professional mental health counseling for you or your friend or someone you know.

Over Forty Million adults over the age of eighteen experience anxiety. Here are some types of anxiety disorders: Generalized anxiety disorder: severe anxiety that impacts daily activities; Obsessive compulsive disorders: unreasonable thoughts and fears that lead you to unhealthy behaviors or compulsions; Panic disorder: panic, fearfulness, terror that happens suddenly or rapidly; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Triggered by a past traumatic event that is impacting you negatively in the present state; Social anxiety disorder; everyday social events create embarrassment, self conscious behaviors, anxiety, fear, avoidance patterns.

Some potential symptoms for college students with anxiety disorders may be: stress and apprehension, muscular tension throughout the body in various regions, irritability, sweating, shortness of breath, muscle aches and pain, headaches, stomach aches, upset stomach, heart beat feels irregular.

It is important to get help from a professional with expertise treating anxiety disorders. The good news is that it can be managed and treated.

www.lifeworksaz.com David Abrams MAPC, CAGS, LPC has been working with teens and college students for over 15 years. He has an advanced Graduate training in children teen and family counseling and therapy.

Counseling tips for teen anxiety during COVID 19 Pandemic

Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

COVID changes can be very difficult for adults and especially Teens and Children who are typically not as resilient as adults and their brains are still developing until age 25.  Research in some other countries show that the COVID 19 is impacting youth with anxiety and depression in over 25 percent of youth.

The loss of structure be it school teachers, friends at school, sports, extracurricular activities is impacting youth in negative ways.

Children and teens in the home are feeling very much like elementary school students. For teenagers, interactions with friends are the most important thing to them — their clubs, their sports. Many of those things have been taken away and that can be overwhelming.

Children and Teens with ADHD can do activities for the brain. This does not include social media or video games or watching Netflix or You tube. 

Parents can teach a child a new life skill. Obviously depending on your child or teens age will determine what skill you will teach them. Some parents teach their children how to cook a meal each night or prepare a breakfast dish. Teaching how to fold clothing or do the laundry is another life skill you can teach your child or teen. Learn a new card game that stretches the mind. Learn a new board game that requires the use of the brain.

Do activities around your home that are important to you. It may be paying the bills, planting your garden, doing chores together. You can make it fun by adding music and a reward or snacks throughout the experience that everyone loves. Work together and you will find a sense of accomplishment as well as you will finish tasks in a fraction of the time if you did them alone.

Take care of your body. I do not mean simply taking a shower or bath. These are essential however I am talking about exercise. Research on ADD and ADHD show exercise is vital for a balanced brain and body as well.

Take time and do yoga or meditate. You can find hundreds of videos online . You can find Cardio workouts as well as High Impact workouts on line. You can do Core as well as all muscle groups as well. Taking a walk with the family is important as well for your body. Sitting inside is not good for the muscles and bones.

Each individual in the home should take time for themselves.  It may involve quiet time reading a book. It may involve a 30 minute nap. It might be taking a long bubble bath. Take time to reach out to your peers and family that you love. It feels good to reach out and connect with others regardless of what is going on outside our homes.

Do small daily tasks so you can build your mental skills for bigger chores. Do small tasks each day and build your mental muscle so you can tackle a larger project later down the road.

Children and teens should talk about their thoughts and feelings and parents should empathize with them being that this is a very challenging and stressful time for your children and teens. www.lifeworksaz.com has provided counseling and therapy treatments for Children , teens, and families for over 15 years specializing with youth on a wide array of issues: ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Anger Management, Healthy Relationships, Healthy communication, Social skills, Building Self Esteem and much more. You can read more at his web 

Counseling teen and child mood and behavior during stressful times.

Wednesday, April 29th, 2020

If you feel like pulling your hair out and feel stressed on a regular basis regarding your children and adolescents you are not alone.

Children and teens have areas in their brain that are not fully developed until they are in their Mid 20’s. Children are growing and hormones are changing and youth and teens are learning. The key to your child’s success is teaching them values and morals as well as teaching them to have balance in all aspects of their life.

Learning to balance a child and teens mood is important since the brain is still developing and th left and right hemispheres are not in balance for best outcomes at home or in school or at work.

Balancing academics with friendships at school. Being able to study and excel in school and also have times for family as well as extracurricular activities is important.

 Eating a balanced diet is important( vegetables, fruits, Proteins). Without proper food your child or teen will not have the energy to perform at their peak levels.

Sleep is a vital area that must have balance otherwise performance will head South! Physical health will deteriorate with not enough sleep. Your teen or adolescents mood will be off balance: moody, angry, irritable, quick fuse, lethargic, unmotivated and more.

Children and teens must find a balance between peers and family as well as school and extracurricular activities.

Many youth I see have huge challenges with : social media, Texting, VIDEO games, You tube, Netflix, TV and media distractions. Learning to set boundaries is vital for a child’s success. A smartphone is like Disneyland in their hands 24-7.

Learning to balance the left side with the right side of the brain is essential. There are times for thinking and logic and there are times when feelings are important and both areas are important. Logic and analysis without compassion and empathy can create problems with relationships. If you want healthy relationships learning how to use both feelings and thought and integration is important.

Neurons in the brain that fire together rewire the brain and this can be done with learning and tutoring as well as with emotional and behavioral issues in youth.

Youth with integrated brains will create : healthier choices, better control of emotions and feelings, better self awareness, stronger relationships with family and friends, and success at school.

We want our children to have the left side of the brain : logic, linguistic, and literal to be fully integrated with the child’s right side of his or her brain that is: creative, emotional, non verbal.

It is also important to integrate the top of the brain with the bottom of the brain as well. The bottom part of the brain the amygdala is where anger and fear and breathing and impulsivity lie. The down stairs brain is raw. 

The top part of the child’s brain is involved with planning and regulates emotions and it is involved in thinking. The top part of the brain is where: sound decision making, control over emotions, empathy, and values are fostered.

Children can learn how to communicate and understand their thoughts and feelings via counseling. Understanding their thoughts and how they are connected to their feelings. If a child is all feelings he or she will be out of balance. If a youth is only using logic or analysis then he is missing out on compassion and emotional connections that most people want in a relationship. Many youth can not express themselves they may be able to yell or name call but the only emotion they are displaying is anger and there are many emotions . Bottled up emotions will ooze out into unhealthy habits: physical health problems, substance dependence, Rage, poor relationships and more.

There are many tools and skills to help your child or teen improve: communication, develop strong social skills, relationships, build self esteem, manage anxiety, elevate mood, perform better at school, improve family relationships, be a team player, develop compassion and empathy and more.

David Abrams MAPC LPC CAGS has a specialty in counseling and therapy treatment and coaching working with youth and families for over 18 years. He has advanced graduate specialties in child and family counseling and you can read testimonials on his web site from over 50 individuals on his work. Go to www.lifeworksaz.com for more info or to set up an appointment via email.

Best Relationships: Improve relationships counseling help through therapy treatment.

Tuesday, April 28th, 2020

Many women are frustrated with the men in their lives due to their perception their partner has a lack of emotional IQ. There are a few main parts to a mans empathic IQ or emotional IQ. The main components are : mood regulation for emotions, being aware and intuitive of others emotions, empathy and compassion, and social skills abilities.

Women overall are better at emotional empathy in research based studies. Women’s brains feel the others feelings and are able to stay with the feelings where as men may briefly feel the emotions for a moment and than move away from feelings and attempt to solve the problem in another part of the brain.

The left brain is considered mainly analytical. It is more methodical in thinking. Individuals using the left side of the brain are using the logical side of the brain. Left brained thinkers enjoy working with numbers. Logic and problem solving are more of a left brain function than the other hemisphere. The left brain is found to be dominant in fields like: science, Law, engineering, computer programming, accounting, and finance. Keep in mind the right brain is also involved just not as dominantly as the left brain.

The right brain is associated with emotion, intuition and the creative process as well as many other areas. Right brained people are artistic and can be very innovative. Graphic designers, Architects, Designers, Counselors, Psychologists, interior designers, singers, directors, animators, etc. fit well with dominance in the right brain.

Take time each day for your self and slow down if you want to balance the left and right side of your brain. Take time and do diaphramatic breathing. This breathing is belly breathing and is done through inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth after your bell expands. Count to five as you inhale and count to five as you slowly exhale and pay attention to the sound or your breath and your body sensations.

Tap into your body  when making decisions as well as your inner thoughts and hopes and feelings. Notice your body as well as the facts you see in your decision. You will be honoring your left as well as the right side of your brain.

You can tap into your right hemisphere by asking close relatives and friends how connected they feel with you? Ask yourself how connected you feel with them? By spending one on one time with your loved ones you are developing the right side of your brain.Inetgrating facts with emotions is vital for many relationships and both are important. We can work on developing the various areas of our brains that need assistance to reach our goals as well as to create log term harmonious relationships.

www.lifeworksaz.com has an advanced specialty working with relationships. David R ABRAMS MAPC LPC, PSYCHOTHERAPIST and Counselor has over 15 years helping improve relationships and marriage through counseling and therapy skills and treatment.

Exercise helps improve your mental health stress and anxiety at LifeworksAZ Counseling and Therapy.

Monday, April 27th, 2020

Exercise is vital for our mental health and immune system. Mood disorders, anxiety, depression are on the rise due to lack of exercise and lack of social contact during COVID 19. It is important to find a way to exercise even if your gym or yoga classes are closed.

Many adults forget how to play and have fun. We somehow forget that what made us the happiest in life was recess and playing on the playground.

When we do an activity we enjoy it is nit work or stress induced. Some gym “workouts” are stressful. If we do not want to go and do not enjoy the routine we have it is not play.

High stress levels are released in our bodies due to stress. Stress on a daily basis adds up and impacts our health in very negative ways. One negative impact is anxiety or anxiety disorders.

Exercise expands the vascular system in the muscles and tissues and helps prevent hypertension.

It opens the capillaries in the muscle tissue and causes blood pressure and blood sugars to drop to normal.

Exercise builds muscle mass and prevents muscles from being broken down as fuel.

Exercise is needed to assist tryptophan and tyrosine. The brain uses tryptophan to make serotonin, melatonin, tryptamine, and indolamine, all of which are antidepressants and regulate sugar level and blood pressure. Tyrosine is used for the manufacture of adrenaline, noradrenaline, and dopamine-vital for the coordination of body physiology such as fighting, running, playing sports..

Exercise lowers blood sugar in diabetics and decreases their need for insulin.

Exercise makes the liver manufacture sugar from the fat that it stores or that is circulating in the blood.

Exercise strengthens the bones of our body and prevents osteoporosis.

A morning and evening walk will keep enzymes active around the clock and will clear cholesterol deposits in the arteries as well as fat stored in the body.

Exercise will increase production of endorphins and enkephalins, the natural opiates of the body.

Playing basketball for the pure pleasure is great but always attempting to win or self criticizing ones self is not healthy and not a stress reduction exercise.

Women in a recent study that exercised 90 minutes each day were twenty percent less likely to suffer from depression.

Women that watched three hours of TV were 12 percent more likely to suffer from depression .

Active exercise releases endorphins that make women feel good so embrace daily exercise!

Research in the journal of Neurology studying 299 men and woman who walked from zero blocks per week to 300 blocks per week.

The study states walking 72 blocks per week was the minimum to show brain improvement.

Forty percent developed cognitive impairment or dementia four years into the study .

The study stated that those who walked the most reduced their risk of memory loss by half.

www.Lifeworksaz.com provides healthy life solutions for children , teens and adults.

Exercise has scientific evidence that it is great for the mind as well as the body.

Exercise that is outdoors is good for the body and mind. Walking, hiking, running, biking , jogging, going on hiking trails.

Take your electronics and put them aside they will be there in the future. Pull away from the PC, Video Games, TV, and the smart phone. Your mood will increase with daily exercise and so will your sense of self and self esteem.

Exercise, exercise, exercise….Exercise creates new neurons and some study states that after 10 weeks exercise showed to be more effective against depression than pills.

We must push ourselves to exercise…..it is important for mind, body, and spiritual health.

www.Lifeworksaz.com provides counseling for: depression, anxiety counseling and therapy, body image, self esteem, relationships, families, youth, Autism, behavior and emotional disorders, anger management and more.

Depression increases with pandemic isolation. A time to work on building your mental health w counseling treatments.

Sunday, April 26th, 2020

Mental health experts state isolation can very long term psychological effects on people. Many people have acute stress disorder a reaction to the COVID pandemic. This pandemic can trigger past trauma and or past anxiety or mental health disorders in adults and youth.

Over fifty percent of those in the USA state their mental health has been negatively impacted. Feeling of anxiety are very high for friends, loved ones, parents, and grandparents.

Negative mental health due to social isolation and distancing may be pronounced among older individuals and teenagers because these groups are already at risk for depression, anxiety and suicide.

With over twenty five million people losing their jobs there is an association with negative mental health through our history with job loss. Increases in depression, distress, anxiety, and low self esteem. Research shows an increase in substance abuse and drug addiction and depression and suicide.

Loss of income as well as unemployment have negative effects on ones mental health.

Those with a history of mental illness have a high chance of triggering other mental health disorders.

There are many factors that play into depression it is not a DNA chromosome alone. 

One of the biggest factors for depression is negative thoughts. I have yet to come across an adult or teen that was depressed that had positive healthy thoughts in over 15 years working with depression.

Trauma and life events: loss of a loved one, bullying, changing schools, divorce, break up with beloved partner, loss of a job, all feed the system of depressed thinking and depression.

Cortisol and stress are out of balance with negative thoughts and yes it will create a depressed mood.

Sleep and nutrition impact your mood as well. There are many studies connecting depressed mood with poor sleep and dietary habits as well.

When treating depression it is important to look at many aspects of the mind and body. What messages are we telling ourselves? Do we praise others? Are we critical and jealous? Is our self esteem low ? Do we feel inadequate? David Abrams MAPC , LPC Psychotherapist and mental health Counselor awww.lifeworksaz.com helps elevate mood through counseling, 

Relationship and couples counseling help for men! LifeworksAZ Phoenix, Scottsdale, Arizona Counseling.

Friday, April 24th, 2020

You have a good job and a nice home and you take vacations, however, something is missing in your relationship. There can be a number of components that are missing beyond just sex. Women want an emotional connection. 

You might be saying well I buy her flowers and she has nice clothing and a nice vehicle and I am a providing financially. These are all wonderful, however, most woman need and desire more.

Working hard is great and earning a nice income is also important , however, do not allow your wife to feel neglected. She has to feel important and not second fiddle to your work! Relationships can be destroyed when your wife feels devalued , underappreciated, not valuable, and not important!

Telling your partner you love her is important, however, conveying it and letting her know specifically why you love her is important as well. I love you and I love all these traits about you… You are thoughtful. You are a team-player and help me out when I can not go to the grocery store. You are excellent at making middle eastern dishes! You are a great cook with other foods like Knefeh or Eggplant, or Turkey dishes sahtain etc. This is a small list. You should be able to find a number of qualities you love about your beloved. Doing things she enjoys or activities she enjoys are ways to show love. Spending time together, holding each other, hugging, and kissing are important as well.

Women want a man they feel safe with ,however, they also want a man that can display : patience, compassion, empathy, kindness, and acceptance.

Many men are critical and judgmental of their loved ones and it can be extremely damaging to the relationship. You do not have to agree on everything, however,  you can communicate it in a kind non judgmental way and positive tone.

Many men come home and verbally dump on their wives or GF regarding their day. It is great and can be healthy to share your day, however, it is important to hear about your partners day as well. It goes both ways!

Being supportive of your partner is important.  Your partners day is just as important as your day regardless of what activities you did or how many hours you worked! Encouraging them and supporting them so they can reach their goals is a positive trait. Listening to them is important without judgment is important as well. Once again you do not have to agree but if you disagree you can communicate so from a place of love and acceptance not criticism.

You may have different opinions with your beloved , however, you must be respectful with your diverging thoughts. Being angry does not excuse being disrespectful to your beloved .

Be honest and trustworthy. Do what you say you will do.  Take accountability for your behavior if it is less than positive. Taking accountability means apologizing with sincerity and it means making a concerted effort to not repeat the offending behavior.

We all want to feel loved and accepted unconditionally. We want to feel validated and supported. We want to feel attractive in the eyes of our beloved soul mate. We want to laugh and enjoy each other and common interests. We want to be heard and valued.

www.lifeworksaz.com has been working with adults and relationship counseling and therapy for over 15 years. David is a magna cum laude graduate with a Graduate specialty in : family counseling , Marriage counseling, and Child counseling!

Articles are not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice or counseling.